Mum~in~Motion

Love is...

2012-02-08T00:20:00.001-05:00

Photo Credit: Sunil Kumar

February is the month that brings out the romance in most of us. Cupid shoots her arrow and inspires many to explore romantic deeds. So for those of you who are unsure how to ask for the love you want and need, share this post with the one you love!

Love is...placing the toilet seat down so that she doesn't fall into the toilet in the middle of the night when nature calls

Love is...filling her gas tank at night so that when she's running behind in the morning she doesn't have to stop to fill up

Love is...giving her the remote and telling her that you'll watch whatever channel she chooses

Love is...keeping the kids away from her for at least 30 minutes so that she can decompress when she gets in from work

Love is...looking at her and letting her know how beautiful she is even though she needs to get her hair done and eyebrow waxed

Love is...letting her sleep in and willingly take your kid to his or her 6:30am swim meet

Love is...going to a 'chick flick' and staying awake

Love is...preparing her a meal even if it's not from scratch and sitting at the table to dine with her

Love is...planning a date night

According to the 1955 American drama-romance film, "love is a many splendored thing" and knows no boundaries. It's patient and kind. Love should not be confined to one month or one day. Love is complete and is a process that should be expressed daily. Calling in the middle of the day to check in is something that you can do at least once a week. All it takes is practice. So let this Valentine's day be the start of a thoughtful process that can be replicated throughtout the year. Be patient, be thoughtful, be loving and embrace your journey. Muah xoxo

Heart Disease: No. 1 Women's Health Threat

2012-02-06T17:13:00.000-05:00

Actress Elizabeth Banks at AHA's Go Red for Women Event

According to the Mayo Clinic heart disease is the No.1 threat of women's health. Heart disease is preventable and if managed, women can live longer healthier lives. Celeb moms like Elizabeth Banks (who participated this year in Go Red For Women National Wear Red Day at Macy's Herald Square on February 3, 2012 in New York City), Heidi Klum (who has teamed with Coca Cola) and others have raised awareness and placed the spotlight on heart health over the years.

Major corporations like Coa-Cola team with the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute (NHLBI) to promote heart health. "The campaign introduced by Coke and Heart Truth not only tells women about heart disease, but also equips them to take action against risk factors. The organizations provide visitors of the www.dietcoke.com/hearttruth section of the official Diet Coke website with useful tips on how to keep the heart healthy and information about what may cause the disease."

February is Heart Month and it's time for moms to make themselves a priority and live a healthy lifestyle. Give the gift of love to yourself and take care of your heart.

Here are tips you'll need from NHLBI to live the heart healthy lifestyle you deserve:

Don't smoke, and if you do, quit. Women who smoke are two to six times more likely to suffer a heart attack than non-smoking women. Smoking also boosts the risk of stroke and cancer.

Aim for a healthy weight. It's important for a long, vigorous life. Overweight and obesity cause many preventable deaths.

Get moving. Make a commitment to be more physically active. Aim for 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity on most, preferably all, days of the week.

Eat for heart health. Choose a diet low in saturated fat, trans fat, and cholesterol, and moderate in total fat. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and fat-free or low-fat milk and milk products. Also include lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, and nuts in your diet.

Know your numbers. Ask your doctor to check your blood pressure, cholesterol (total, HDL, LDL, triglycerides), and blood glucose. Work with your doctor to improve any numbers that are not normal.

This February, the Office on Women’s Health urges women to make the call to 9-1-1 immediately if they experience any one or more of the following symptoms:

Chest pain, discomfort, pressure or squeezing

Shortness of breath

Nausea

Light-headedness or sudden dizziness

Unusual upper body pain or discomfort in one or both arms, back, shoulder, neck, jaw or upper part of the stomach

Unusual fatigue

Breaking out in a cold sweat

RESOURCES
NHLBI
Mayo Clinic
Go Red for Women

Reducing Cervical Cancer Inequities

2012-01-13T15:31:00.001-05:00

Guest Post by Amelia 'Amy' MacIntyre, Health Research and Policy Analyst

CommunityHealth Centers’ Role in Reducing Cervical Cancer Inequities

1.Whichsegments of the U.S. population are disproportionately affected by cervicalcancer?

The uninsured, the underinsured and those living inunderserved communities in which health care services are scarce. These populations include women in ruralareas, the elderly, those with less formal education, and women of color. For example, the mortality rate forAfrican-American and Vietnamese women continues to be twice as high as forwhite women – and about 50 percent higher for Latinas. Meanwhile, in rural communities, uninsuredwhite women have some of the poorest access to routine screening of any patientpopulation. Thus, cervical cancerincidence rates vividly demonstrate inequities in our health care systems and outcomes.

2. How do Health Resources and ServicesAdministration (HRSA)-supported community health centers address this healthdisparity?

Community healthcenters provide preventive health services, including Pap tests and HPVvaccinations, to any female, regardless of insurance statusand/or ability to pay. As such, health centers play a vital role in redressinghealth disparities and delivering care to groups excluded in the health caresystem such as immigrants.

Here are a few community health center benchmarks relatedto cervical cancer in 2010:

More than 11 million patients served were women and girls, or 6 out of every 10 patients. Of that population, 69% were women over 20 – comprising the largest single patient-category in the system.

In addition to HPV vaccines, health centers administered Pap tests to about 1.8 million women, resulting in 120,167 abnormal cervical findings.
Of the 9,592 attending physicians in health centers, almost 1 in 10 was an OB-GYN specialist, accounting for more than 3 million patient visits-or 9% of the 34 million visits to health centers annually.

To find a HRSA health center near you or to download the free healthcenter app, clickhere.

3. Howdoes the Affordable Care Act (ACA) aid in these community health centers’efforts?

Under theAffordable Care Act, cervical cancer screenings are already covered with nocost sharing for new health plans. Furthermore,

The Affordable Care Act created the Community Health Center fund which will provide $11 billion over a five-year period to assist in the expansion, improvement and creation of new health centers throughout the country.

In September 2011, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) made $700 million of these funds available to health centers: $600 million for current community health centers to expand operations and serve more patients and $100 million to help health centers address immediate needs.
In August 2011, HHS awarded nearly $30 million to create the New Access Points program, which will help health centers delivery primary and preventive care to an additional 286,000 patients.

4. What does the future hold for increased access tocervical cancer preventive services, especially for the underserved populationsthat community health centers primarily serve?

Community health centers are poised to play a large rolein increasing access to preventive and primary health care. Other provisions ofthe Affordable Care Act, including no-cost sharing for preventive servicesunder private health insurance plans and non-discrimination protection forwomen with pre-existing conditions, also serve to bring down barriers to healthcare for women. Additionally, while greater research is needed, a recentstudy at the National Cancer Institute suggests that theHPV vaccine seemed to be about as effective whether women had 1, 2, or 3 doses;a development which may increase access to the HPV vaccine for women who seekit.

With the nation spending over $1.4billion a year on cervical cancer treatment, these basic preventive servicesnot only provide crucial access to care to the most vulnerable of populations,but also serve to reduce health care costs overall by emphasizing preventionand reducing the need for costly disease treatment and emergency room costs.

OtherUseful Links:To learn more about HPV in general,visit http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/hpv.html
HPVand Cancer: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

This New Year take the leap and resolve to dream big, work hard, be charitable, connect with others, live healthy and invite God's Presence in all that you do. This list sounds extensive, but if you're making a New Year's resolution, it needs to be. There are 351days left in this year. I suggest that you choose one of these to focus on each day.

The biggest problem with making resolutions, is trying to make it an annual plan. Stop making plans for the entire year. That sets you up for failure before you begin. Set daily goals that will be more attainable. When you achieve your daily goal, you will be encouraged to continue and by the end of January, you would have fulfilled month 1 of your resolution.

Here's a daily example that may work for busy moms:

Monday: Most challenging day of the week. Resolve to be charitable/kind to everyone you encounter.

Tuesday: Resolve to eat healthy whole foods. No junk food!

Wednesday: Set aside 30 minutes today for exercise.

Thursday: Unplug and be present with your spouse and children. Sit with them and listen to the events of their day.

Friday: The not-so-productive day. Resolve to stay focused and complete tasks assigned for the day.

Saturday: Spend some time dreaming and writing about what you would love to do. There's no time like the present to make your dream a reality. Start planning.

Sunday: Commit to worship, meditating and connecting with your Creator. Invite him into your space. Recognize His Presence and feel His peace.

New Year's resolutions should be taken in small doses. Don't go too grand. Making life changes is difficult and sometimes scary. Take your time but commit to one of the changes daily. Work-life balance is tough but attainable if you commit to it daily. Make a list of what you'd like to accomplish this year and try one aspect of it each day. Remember, each day starts anew. It doesn't matter what occured yesterday. Don't be discouraged. It may not go as planned the first few times you attempt it, however, stick with it and you will see great results.

Create a support network with friends and family. Support and encouragement of others create an environment for success. Weed out the naysayers and surround yourself with positive energy. 2012 is your year for great experiences. Take one day at a time and see your resolutions become reality. Be patient, be encouraged, be determined and embrace the victory that awaits you this year!!!

Connect for the Holidays!

2011-12-12T17:36:00.001-05:00

National Christmas Tree

Now that the Holiday Season is in full swing, it’s time toconnect with your family. A mother’s role is busy enough without the holidayseason. As the holiday seasonapproaches, we become busier and miss a grand opportunity to connectwith our families. Don’t let the busyness of the season distract you from what’smost important…family.

Teenagers tend to get restless during the holiday season andcomplain of boredom. Make time to listen to your teens and be present withthem. Pick your battles. Don’t force your ideas upon them. Allow them toexpress themselves and exercise some independence. Let them know that you wouldlike to spend some time with them and let them choose the activity and be open to it.

Younger ones are eager to spend time with you. Set asidesome time for a game night or storytelling. The holidays are filled with exciting booksand stories. Get unplugged and turn on the radio, cuddle with your little onesand enjoy the sweet holiday sounds.

Let your children know that they’re very important to youand even though time does not permit you to be with them on a more regularbasis, you would make every effort to spend one on one time with them thisholiday season. Be vulnerable with your children Remove the mask and allowyourself to become connected.

Suggested activities for you and your children (both young and old):

· Bake cookies

· Make a Santa list with 1 or 2 items and take it to the post office

· Visit Santa at the Mall (lines may be long butworth the smile on your little one’s face)

· Go for a stroll and look at the beautifullydecorated store windows

· Play board games

· Listen to music together (this may feel awkwardbut try it, you just might like it)

· Have dinner at the table and ask them abouttheir day. This is your chance to listen and not pass judgement

· Ask the older ones to go to the supermarket withyou. Let them know you want to spend time with them

· Attend a community/church holiday production(these are inexpensive andvery enjoyable)

· Visit your town/city Christmas tree

· Decorate your house together

These are just a few suggestions. Take advantage of theseason and get connected with your precious blessings. Don’t use your timealone to judge or scold. Use this time to let your kids know that they are lovedand appreciated. They may not express what you’d like to hear, but at leastthey’re allowed to express themselves. So listen. There’s no greater gift, thanthe gift of love. Take a break from the commercialism and reconnect. Unplugfrom the electronic gadgets. Turn off the television, take off your phone,silence the social media and listen to the sound of your child’s voice. Be attentive, be loving, be connected andembrace your journey.

Monday 'Mum~ism'

2011-11-14T12:46:00.001-05:00

Photo Credit: Michael Mason

If you don't like the direction your life is heading...change the trajectory.
Be bold.

Author's NoteAll Monday Mum~isms are original quotes from Nicole Commissiong unless stated otherwise.

Soul Rejuvenation

2011-10-26T22:30:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Nicole Commissiong/ Sunset at Edgewater

Life has a way of hijacking us and holding us hostage. As much as we try to free ourselves from bondage we get sucked back into the busyness and the rigors of life. There comes a time when every woman, especially moms feel overwhelmed, burdened, unappreciated and at times, alone. When these feelings surface, it’s time to release and replenish, relax, reflect and rejuvenate the soul.

I allowed myself to go into overdrive. I became too busy and was not living my best life. I became stressed, anxious and overwhelmed and at a point of no return. Of course I managed to convince myself that I could handle it. I was sure that yoga or prayer or even exercise would heal me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t allow myself to do any of these. I was too stressed to even pray for myself. I had the opportunity to go away on a retreat with my Cursillo team and I was tempted to decline. My daughter had a school Dance to attend and my two guys had activities. Guilty mom surfaced, but was quieted because something larger than motherhood was calling…..my sanity.

I decided to spend my weekend getting closer to God. No one should be so busy that developing a relationship with God becomes inconvenient. So I spent my weekend at peace in His presence. Everywhere I turned He was evident. The sunrise, the changing leaves, the soft wind that created ripples on the water that surrounded me, the leaves that crunched beneath my feet while on the hiking trail and especially in my brothers and sisters who were on the retreat with me. I was completely covered by His grace. I was in awe that I found joy, even with my anxiety and burdens.

My life became so noisy that I couldn’t feel His presence even though He was with me. I was relaxed and I reflected as I talked with my Father and rekindled my relationship with Him. On the last evening just before Mass, we were kissed with a sunset whose soft orange glow reflected upon His Creation and at that moment I felt renewed and thankful that my Father loves me.

As I left the retreat, I was reminded that the world did not change and the challenges still existed. However, what has changed is the way I choose to respond to the world. I must spend time with my Father everyday. I must interrupt my busyness to sit at His feet and listen to the stillness He has to offer. For me, God is my anchor and because of His grace I am wife, mother, sister and friend. Be still, be renewed, be prayerful and embrace your journey.

Monday 'Mum~ism'

2011-10-24T13:47:00.003-04:00

montageoftheheart By Kirsten

If you find pleasure in speaking ill of others, you're probably unhappy with your insecure self.
Be vulnerable

Author's Note
All Monday Mum~isms are original quotes from Nicole Commissiong unless stated otherwise.

Planning tips for college bound seniors

2011-10-17T22:57:00.000-04:00

Highschool senior year is very overwhelming and being the mother of a high school senior is bittersweet. I've been preparing for this year for a long time and yet, I feel unprepared. I didn't anticipate that it would arrive this quickly. Preparing your college bound senior for this journey is no easy task but it's better to plan the process than to increase your anxiety level by 'winging' it.

There's a great deal of anxiety associated with the college process for both parent and senior. Therefore, using the following tips will enable you to manage your stress level. I'm sure there are some 'over achiever' moms who have their planning calendars and are in great shape. But for those of you, like me, who are easing into the process, these tips are for you!

I found the article "8 Things High School Seniors Need to Do Now" by Lynn O'Shaughnessy very helpful.

Meet College Reps
Visit schools/attend College fairs
Get organized/calendar
Retake SAT or ACT
Get a fnancial aid pre-read
Write your college essay
Ask for recommendations
Whittle down school list and start applying

Click on the link above and get an overview of each tip. There's still time to get your calendar and get organized. There's no perfect process, however, organization is key to a successful process. Your senior will thank you later. Good luck! Be motivated, be organized, be patient and embrace your journey.

Troy Davis...a lesson on Empowerment & Hope

2011-09-22T13:06:00.001-04:00

Credit: AP Photo/Savannah Morning News

Troy Anthony Davis in the Chatham County Superior Court during his trial

As I entered my home on the night of September 21, I was approached by an upset daughter. My 15 year old asked to be taken to the Supreme Court to stand in protest against Troy Anthony Davis' execution. My husband and I were tired but ready and willing to support our little girl in her quest for justice and her fight to abolish the death penalty.

Troy Davis was convicted of murdering a Georgia police officer in 1991. The case was plagued with many inconsistencies. Over the years witnesses have recanted their statements, the weapon was never found. Doubt shrouded this case. Yet, Georgia was determined to keep him on death row. Troy Davis was due to be executed at 7:00pm EST. At 7:20 he was still alive while the Supreme Court reviewed documents. My daughter felt hopeful.

While standing with her in front the Supreme Court, I couldn't help but think that we are all Troy Davis. This could have been anyone's story. My daughter does not support the death penalty. Furthermore, she expressed that this is America, the country that's the beacon of hope for the world. At 11:08pm, Troy Davis was executed and my little girl's hope was shattered and she broke down. All I could do was hold her and allow her to express her hurt.

We can't always protect our children from all the pain this world has to offer. However, we can empower them to make a difference. We can encourage them to speak out where there is injustice. We can encourage them to stand firm for their beliefs. Moreover, we have to show them that we have the power to impact change. Help your teenagers connect and get involved there are many organizations like DoSomething.org that they can join and make a difference.

I advised my daughter to remain hopeful. There are many injustices in our world...hunger, prejudice, abuse, genocide, lack of healthcare, to name a few. In spite of this, there is also good, so in the face of adversity we should always be hopeful. Alexander Pope said it best in "An Essay on Man"...'hope springs eternal'. Romans 8:24 states...'For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. It is my hope that she remembers Troy Davis' story and speak up wherever injustice 'rears its ugly head'. Be encouraging, be prayerful, be hopeful and embrace your journey.

Resources
Amnesty International
DoSomething.org

Remembering 9/11/01: Ten Years Later

2011-09-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Reflecting~Remembering~Rebuilding

Today we reflect upon the tragedy of Tuesday September 11, 2001. A day of horror, a day of tragedy, a day of unimaginable loss. I remember feeling a sense of emptiness as I kept my eyes fixed on the events that unfolded on the various networks. I felt paralyzed and numb. I was overwhelmed by mixed emotions even though I was not directly impacted. I did not know any of the victims nor their families and yet sadness, fear, uncertainty and anger all rushed in at once. We all shared in the pain with our fellow citizens.

It's been a decade and we are triumphant. The terrorists broke our buildings but not our spirit. They took lives but not the memories. They were menacing but not strong enough to take our freedom. That's the power of the United States of America. When faced with adversity we band together and become one in prayer and resilience and we fight back!

To the First Responders: We are forever grateful.
To the men and women of our Armed Forces who protect our freedom and those who paid the ultimate price: We sincerely appreciate you.
To the families of the victims: We pray for your continued healing and comfort.
To the survivors: We pray for your continued strength and faith.

It is my hope that we remain vigilant as we rebuild our lives. We must maintain the spirit of oneness and not take our freedom for granted. We must appreciate our life and the lives of others. I pray for the safe return of our troops who are still fighting to protect our freedom. May God bless you and may God bless the United States of America. Be thankful, be healed, be comforted, be prayerful and embrace your journey.

S is for schedule and sanity!

2011-09-05T15:15:00.000-04:00

School has begun and while the kiddies are all bursting with excitement, moms are writhing with anxiety. It's back to the juggle of work and family life. Moms know that disorganization can be very overwhelming and cost us our sanity. My list includes, PTA meetings, tennis matches, soccer games, cross country meets, birthday parties, grocery shopping, dinner to prepare, homework and backpack check, laundry(loads of it), lunches to pack, dental appointments, permission slips to complete, field trips, cleaning, school fundraisers and events, hair appointments. If I included the complete list there would be no room for the rest of my post. This list does not include my day job and the travel that comes with it, my philanthropic work, exercise, nor time with my husband and friends. Also, since this is my son's senior year, college visits and applications must be included! Reading this list makes me want to scream!!!

I'm certain that most moms are screaming at their list and wondering when on earth do they get to sleep! Some friends tell me that I do it so effortlessly. I've got news for them all....it takes a lot of effort and it is difficult! Any mom that says it's easy, isn't being honest (unless she has a personal assistant). With the national unemployment rate at 9%, work has been made a priority for most families. Some moms work a fixed time schedule (approx 8.5 hours per day) and have very little time to squeeze in items on their list. Other moms are self employed and may have a flexible work schedule but that doesn't mean they have more time. In some instances, they have to work even more hours than those who 'clock in'. So no matter which side of the spectrum you fall into, balancing work and home is very difficult and leave most moms feeling guilty.

Getting organized is essential. Everything must be scheduled, even sleep. That's something I'm working on. Mothers must realize that they cannot do EVERYTHING. We must prioritize and accept that some events will be missed. For example, my 3 children may have events on the same day around the same time. Even if my husband and I split up between 2, one child's event will be missed. I'm adopting the 'take turns' concept. A week per child. This week I'll attend my son's meet. Next week I'll attend my daughter's tennis match. Our youngest is seven and he must be accompanied by an adult. So dad and I will have to take turns with him as well. I won't make every PTA meeting, so I plan to attend every other month. When you take a break at work, schedule all your appointments for a month. Place everything (work and home) on one calendar Always plan a month ahead. For example, At the beginning of August, I scheduled my little guy's dental appointment for September 12. If you schedule your sleep, you can schedule your workout for early morning so that you can get a healthy start to a busy day. I'm in the process of re-training my body to go to sleep early so that I can workout in the morning before heading to work.

I don't always have time to bake cupcakes to send to school, but the Safeway store around the corner do a fabulous job with theirs....so I go with store bought and not feel an ounce of guilt. I can't do it all and I'm okay with that. Some moms equate 'doing it' all with being a good mother. You're a good mother when you accept that you can't do it all. Planning and scheduling is at the core of a mom's sanity. Whether you have 1 in school or 3, like I do, schedule, schedule, schedule. It'll keep you sane. Plan dinner and lunches on the weekend and shop accordingly. This not only keeps you on task, but also, saves money. You'll shop from the list and not purchase unnecessary items.

Planning and scheduling will help you get through this school year with your sanity intact. Don't be hard on yourself and don't strive for perfection. Do the best you can with what you have. Make adjustments when necessary. It won't always be flawless, it won't be without hiccups, but you'll have your plan to steer you back on schedule. Be organized, be guiltless, be sane and embrace your journey.

'A Stone of Hope'

2011-09-03T23:52:00.000-04:00

We were planning to head north to the beach to celebrate the official end of summer. However, we decided to slow it down and relax at home with the family. As the day progressed, one teen had tennis practice and the other made plans to attend his school's football game. That was my cue to follow through with plan B and head out with my sis and our little guys to visit the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial.

After circling the memorial a couple times we finally found a parking space. It was amazing and quite crowded. As I approached the memorial I looked up and was greeted with the phrase; 'OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN OF DESPAIR, A STONE OF HOPE'. A calm came over me as I read this phrase. My sister and I perused the area, took a few pictures and explained to our sons the significance of Dr. King. My 7 year old son recited a portion of the 'I Have a Dream' speech while my 5 year old nephew became sad that Dr. King was killed. We walked a bit more reading the various quotes that lined the walls of the memorial. It was both a proud and overwhelming experience.

Dr. King's memorial sits on the Potomac river between the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials. Toward the end of our visit, we sat on the river. Though the memorial was crowded and at times you could barely hear yourself think, you felt at peace. There was a calm that was evident. Dr. King's image looks out toward the Jefferson monument echoing hope. A hope that the promises made in our Constitution would be promises kept.

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Despite the critisms that were rightfully expressed about the memorial and errors made; you will be filled with hope and pride when you visit this historic memorial.
Take your family to witness history, American history and feel the peace that embodies it. You will not regret your visit to the ' Stone of Hope' that evolved from a 'Mountain of Despair'. Be curious, be proud, be hopeful and embrace your journey.

Back 2 School tips!!!

2011-08-11T12:51:00.000-04:00

It's August and summer is slowly coming to an end as the new school year approaches. It's time to get the little ones re-adjusted to normal sleeping patterns in preparation of school re-opening. Don't wait for a couple days prior to the opening. Some kids are anxious if they're starting a new school. Others need some advance notice to get used to the idea that school is about to start. The best time to start is now!

The following tips are a guide to get your little and big kids ready for school.

Let your kids know how many weeks are left before school starts (countdown approach).
Get back to normal sleep patterns and bedtime routines.
Get kids excited about the upcoming school year by taking a trip to the school and even stopping in briefly, if permitted.
Take kids shopping for school supplies and have them choose some of their supplies.
Go through recipe websites and have kids explore school lunch or dinner options.
Have kids prepare some sample lunches they'd like to take to school
If kids have summer assignments, get them started now before. Waiting for the last minute creates anxiety.
Moms~ purchase supplies to get yourself organized for the busy school year. Don't forget to purchase a calendar and if you have the school's calendar of events, mark your calendars!
Be upbeat and positive about the upcoming school year so as to keep your child in a positive and upbeat mood.
Schedule an appointment for your kid's annual physical and ensure vaccinations are current.

These tips will certainly help reduce or eliminate anxiety in both you and your children. Be pro-active, be organized, be positive and embrace your journey. Good luck and I wish you both a successful and positive school year!

Monday 'Mum~ism'

2011-08-08T00:28:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit: Kumiyaay by Shawn Montaigne

'Love and support is all around you...seek it, embrace it, share it.' ~ Nicole Commissiong

Veritas Vineyard a perfect getaway

2011-08-05T01:24:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: Veritas Winery

I recently had the opportunity to enjoy a romantic getaway with my husband. That getaway took us to Afton, Virginia. A small town amidst the Blue Ridge mountains. We had the pleasure of visiting a winery with an idyllic setting nestled in the mountains called Veritas.

I highly recommend this vineyard to all, but especially those in the Washington, DC area. It's definitely worth a day trip or a weekend escapade. As we parked our car we were greeted with a beautifully manicured landscape and vines that were laden with grapes. As we approached a building which houses the tasting room, we entered a canopied porch which was covered with grape laden vines whose bunches cascaded from the trellis which held it. I was very happy that my kids did not accompany us on this trip because they would've jumped with their arms outstretched in the hopes of picking a bunch of grapes. I myself was quite tempted to do so but good sense prevailed.

We were greeted at the door with a warm welcome and an invitation to participate in the tasting. Tasting was $5 per person. Our flight consisted of six of the favorite Veritas wines, three white wines and three red wines. Our host was very knowledgeable on the wines and gave us a wonderful lesson without making us feel inept. You will feel so relaxed that visiting another winery may seem unnecessary because when you're at Veritas...you're at home.

We ordered a couple glasses of wine and a cheese plate. We ate outdoors and enjoyed the peace and serenity of the vineyard and mountains as we enjoyed each other's company and marvelled at God's creation which embraced us. This vineyard exemplifies Virgina's slogan, "Virginia is for Lovers". It's very romantic. If you entered angry with each other, you'll definitely leave 'in love'... and not just with the wine but with your significant other. The atmosphere is very captivating.

This getaway was by far one of my favorites. It's a gem that's not far away from home, has impeccable service, outstanding wines and made me feel so comfortable that the thought of visiting another winery proved to be a fruitless exercise. Be adventurous, be amazed, be in-love and embrace your journey as you explore Virginia's amazing wine country.

Blogger's Note:
Nicole Commissiong did not receive compensation for this post.

Re-connect ~ Re-kindle ~ Restore

2011-08-02T01:00:00.003-04:00

Nicole and husband at Crabtree Falls, VA

Summer time can be a very busy time. Work, kid activities, family trips, family and friend visits, the list goes on. The busyness can put a strain on couples financially and emotionally. This is the time when some couples lose connection. Create balance by spending one on one time with your significant other.

My summer involved lots of travel both for work and leisure. Juggling the activities of three kids, time for myself, time with friends, family and fulfilling demanding work schedules have tested my 18 year marriage. I'm a firm believer of date night. It's my time to connect with my husband and spark a bit of romance. Lately, it's been time to catch up with schedules, finances and discuss work. I'm the family planner and because of frustration and loss of connection, I've felt overwhelmed from all the planning. I decided that it was time for hubby to plan a date night.

My husband is not a simple guy and I asked for something simple where we could spend some time to just talk about us. His plan was a movie and then we walked and talked. It was simple but still something was missing. To my surprise, that was merely the appetizer. The main course was a weekend getaway in the Blue Ridge mountains in Virginia. My husband realized that we were in dire need of connection, so in addition to date night, he planned hiking, wine tasting, peach picking and enjoying each others company. It was exactly what we needed. Time alone to talk, listen and time to spark a connection. One thing we agreed upon was that even though time away is great and necessary for us, we need to steal time during our day to make loving gestures to each other. We need a daily reminder that we love and care about each other. Realistically, this may not occur daily, but putting it into practice and being aware that little things mean alot is the first step to re-connecting. In Redbook magazine, Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. suggested asking yourself: 'What one little thing can I do to make this person happy today?' [It can be something as little as bringing a cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk or calling during the day to say, "I'm thinking about you."]

Make your marriage a priority. Don't use busyness as an excuse for lack of time for your spouse. Schedule time. The following chart is a list from Dr. Phil that can get you on the right path to re-connecting with the one you love. Be patient, be humble, be open and embrace your journey.

Tips to keep your family safe in the heat

2011-07-22T15:56:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: Peter J. Klaus

A deadly heatwave is sweeping through the mid-Atlantic and east coast so it's time to ensure that the entire family is safe. Temperatures will sore to approx 115 deg F. So use the following tips to protect yourself and your family.

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Stay hydrated with water or drinks with electrolytes. Coconut water is a great low sugar alternative to sport drinks and has loads of electrolytes.
If you must work in your garden. Get out very early and tend to your plants or wait for the sun to set but be careful the temps can be very high at these times. Wear a hat and lather on the sunblock.
Wait for the heat wave to pass before mowing the lawn.
Take restless kids to an indoor gym or pool for play time. Do not let them play outdoors. Avoid giving them caffeine drinks and soda.
Need to run errands...take it slow. Move slowly, use the air condition in the car and be sure to carry water with you.
If you have student athletes like I do...be firm and make sure that they workout in an indoor gym. If practice must take place outside ensure that it's early morning. No energy drinks! They tend to cause de-hydration. If possible, have them take a break from practice. It's not worth the risk!

According to the Centers for Disease Control symtoms for heatstroke include:

Hot, dry skin or profuse sweating

Hallucinations

Chills

Throbbing headache

High body temperature

Confusion/dizziness

Slurred speech

Seek medical attention immediately if you or someone you know show any of these symtoms. Be sure to be safe during your weekend activities. Be smart, stay cool, stay hydrated and embrace your journey.

Monday 'Mum~ism'

2011-06-27T21:08:00.002-04:00

Photo by: Jeramiaha

The energy you put out into the Universe

will return to you some day!

Be Positive

Happiness comes from within...not from him!

2011-06-24T14:57:00.000-04:00

Lie flat by Hakan Dahlstrom

“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.” –Helen Keller

So many of us expect our spouses to make us happy. It's unfair to place that much power on an individual. As good as we may think our spouses are...they're not THAT good. Women need to hold on to their power and stop giving it away. You are responsible for your happiness. Your happiness can be found deep within. It may surface after the worry or fear, disappointment or anger subsides. It's always there and you most often discover it when you are quiet and alone.

I love my family, however, I find happiness when I'm spending time with myself. It doesn't mean that I want to BE alone, it merely means that my happiness surfaces when I'm in a quiet space. I can enter that quiet space in the presence of others. For example, upon completing that extra mile on the treadmill at the gym, I'm happy. My accomplishment coupled with the endorphins put me in a happy space. Likewise, when I'm connected with my soul and I'm praying or meditating, I find happiness. I don't always find happiness when I pray because sometimes I'm not connected. However, when a connection occurs, I become so happy that I'm brought to tears. I also find happiness when I'm kind or when I'm able to help someone.

Stop giving guys all the credit and reclaim your power....the power to find your happiness within. Happiness is not about receiving things and having expensive designer clothing or diamonds or the most fabulous house. Happiness is about accepting your beautiful self with all your flaws. It's about being able to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. It's about making the best out of every situation and living the best life you can with what you have. "But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus. You won't be happy all the time. No one is. However, if you practice seeking it out; you'll add more happy days to your life. "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."-Denis Waitley.
Be accepting, be empowered, be happy and embrace your journey.

D.A.D.

2011-06-19T17:17:00.000-04:00

Photo courtesy: Sierra A. 'Father and son'

I read the following definition of DAD today by Erik Rees on Purpose Driven Connection.

D-Depend on God!
Start each day asking God to give you the wisdom and strength to be the best dad you can be. Never ever sacrifice your family on the altar of work. Yes, God is first in your life, but your family is second, and work is third. This also means stop looking at your phone during dinner or emailing while watching TV. My kids know when I'm engaged and when I'm just in the room.

A-Always Love Them!
Give your kids a hug and tell them you love them each and every day. No matter what age, hug them and talk to them. Don't replace authentic love with texting and emails. Use your voice and use your arms to convey love. It will reassure them that they are your priority. If you don't know the love languages of your kids, learn them so you can connect with them through the way God wired them.

D-Devote Your Time!
Kids spell love T-I-M-E, so make time to be with them. I don't know what this means for you and your kids, but find a way to give your kids the best part of your day (instead of the leftovers). It is too easy to slip into busyness and allow other things to suck your day away. Be deliberate in finding ways to give your kids your time.

The role of a father should never be diminished nor taken for granted. Especially during difficult times. Children learn by example. They appreciate the hard work you do to provide. However, dont let your work deter you from spending time with them. They need you. So carve time out to sit with your children and don't be afraid to do activities with them. Take them out without mom. Be present when you spend time with them. Respect their moms. Strong fathers build strong families and in turn make strong communities. Be present, be respectful, be loving.....and dads.....embrace your journey. Happy Fathers' Day!

Resources:
Purpose Driven Connection

A Thankful Journal

2011-06-13T17:43:00.000-04:00

Photo credit: Junlong Lin

I was having a "Why did I get out of bed this morning???" day. I have 1 month until my National Conference. I'm being pulled in several directions. I have to attend a meeting in Chicago at the end of the month and then take a family trip to Disney on July 1st. In addition, my son will be spending a week at a University and his last day coincides with our trip to Orlando! I was completely overwhelmed. Then I got a call that my mum was being taken to the emergency room. At that very moment, I paused and just like that 'thankful' journal came to mind. I once kept a 'thankful' journal. I grabbed my pen and began to write things I was thankful for today.

That I awoke and had the capacity to face today's challenges.
That my teenagers were at home when my mom fell ill.
I'm grateful to my husband who rushed home and took my mom to the hospital.
I'm grateful that he didn't call me. I couldn't deal with it then, especially since my 6yo was in the hospital Friday with a 105 degree temperature.
I'm thankful that he is doing well.
Thankful that my sister called me with a calm tone.
I'm thankful that I work for a company that understands my family comes first.
That my friend Marsha called me at the right time.
I'm grateful that the speakers for the conference are sending in their CVs and other documents with rapid fire.
That I was obedient when the thought popped into my mind about a gratitude list.

Now I understand the importance of keeping a 'thankful' journal. It's for days like these. Days when you feel like you're being buried alive and everyone is standing around looking at the dirt cover you. Days when you can't even pray for yourself. Days when all you want to do is cry and rest your head in your mummy's lap for comfort. Except, this time my mummy isn't feeling well. If she's up to it, when she gets home, I'll sit with her and document what she's thankful for.

A wonderful feeling came over me as I documented my gratitude list. Now that I'm calm, I can pray for my mother. I am able to place my workload in perspective and work through my 'to do list'. Remember, if you have days like I do sometimes, grab a pen and paper and document the things you are grateful for at that given moment. You'll feel better and you'll think clearer. I'm going to attempt to maintain my journal, but if I don't, I pray that the voice inside reminds me to jot down my gratitude list. Be thankful, be prayerful, be obedient and embrace your journey!

Summer guide for the family

2011-06-10T23:29:00.002-04:00

It's a great idea to get input from the entire family when making Summer plans. Find out what each child would love to do. Encourage them to participate and discuss with them your budget constraints. For example, last year my little guy wanted to visit Disney World and we explained to him that it was not in the budget. Next on his list...paddle boating. So my husband and I took him and his cousin out on the Potomac river to enjoy paddle boating and we all had a blast! It's not the activity only, but the time spent together creating wonderful memories.

There are lots of great activities that you can enjoy with your kids this summer

Movies~

Movie theatres have summer specials and matinee are at a discounted price. Some parks offer outdoor movie viewing. Movies under the stars is always a fun family activity.

Storytime~

Bookstores and libraries have storytime. Call your local library for information. Also check out Borders, Barnes and Noble or any other bookstore in your neighborhood for a summer schedule.

Museums~

Don't limit yourself to Children Museums. Venture out to other museums and learn together. Give your kids a list of museums and ask them to choose one that may interest them. A favorite of ours is the Spy Museum and this summer it is my hope that we'll get to visit the Newseum as a family. Being in the DC Metro area, we have a great deal of choices.

Water activities~

Cool down with your kiddies at recreation or neighborhood pools. Some cities have small water parks that are at a fraction of the cost of major amusement parks. Some states also offer lake and river activities like boating, water rafting, sailing, etc.

Performing Arts~

Check out your local listings for performances in theatre, music or puppet shows at your local Playhouse. This is a great way to introduce younger children to the arts and help them develop an appreciation for it. You may also find outdoor performances at parks.

Bowling and roller skating~

These are always fun activities that even teenagers are fond of.

Nature Activities~

Nature centers have hikes, camping and nature trails. Locate a Farmers' market and peruse with your children. Some farms have 'pick your own' (PYO) produce. You can take home your produce and let the kids help you prepare a wonderful lunch or dinner or bake a pie.

Parks and Recreation~

There's an abundance of activities that parks throughout North America offer. They're all specific to the region. You will find playgrounds, camping, mini golf, picnic areas, hiking or walking trails and some even have water parks. Contact your State's Park and Recreation for details.

Animal viewing~

Zoos, petting zoos and aquariums are fun places to visit and learn along with your children.

You are not limited to this list. Do a search for [Parks and Recreation by State] for a list of activities offered in your state. There are always special events during summertime. Outdoor summer concerts, amusement theme parks, summer camps or vacation bible school (VBS), enrichment classes or workshops, carousels, trains, laser tag, to name a few. Also search for summer activities for kids or teens in your city. There will be many activities to choose from. So plan wisely and don't over schedule. You want to enjoy the activity and not feel resentment. Make sure your kids are fed and hydrated. That makes a family outing less stressful. Be adventurous, be patient, be encouraging and embrace the journey. Happy planning!

Slow down... it's Summer!

2011-06-09T18:18:00.001-04:00

There is such a thing as being too busy. Some moms are guilty of this because they want to feel needed, worthy and in some cases, important. Being a mother is the most important job a mom has! You are worthy. You are important and you're definitely needed! There's only 24 hours in a day and you can only do 'so much' in that given time frame. Give yourself permission to say 'NO' to some events or activities. Take the opportunity this summer to slow down and connect with your kids.

Slowing down in the summertime may seem like an 'oxymoron' to some. There's family trips and cookouts. Camp for kids and fun activities. There's work and entertaining friends and family. Summer is usually packed with activities! Though there's no hard and fast rule, one system that may work for you, is a schedule. Create a schedule (it doesn't have to be formal) and if you go off track, it'll help bring you back on.

Some kids are already out for the summer and plans may already be underway. For others, school is coming to an end. Either way, set up a schedule that includes connecting with your kids. Don't just schlep them from one activity to another. Connect. Sit with them, talk to them. Get into their world. Spend one on one time and be present. They may not show it and they may think you're acting weird, but children love one on one time. If this is not something that you do regularly, it will feel strange and uncomfortable at first. Don't be discouraged or embarrassed. Just do it! I guarantee you would love it also. It gets easier with time.

I associate summer with love. So have a love affair with your children. Fall in love with who they are. Use this season to connect and be present with them. Don't over schedule and take it slow. Absorb and enjoy every moment you spend with them. Find creative activities to do. Go into their world, don't just take them into yours. Be connected, be loving, be patient and embrace your journey.

A Morning of Wellness

2011-06-04T15:57:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Darnell A.

I hosted the event..."A Morning of Wellness" and it was beautiful! Witnessing these women having fun and appreciating the event and each other was worth the effort. So many of us are busy taking care of others while we neglect ourselves. So with a little nudge and a lot of push from my family (hubby and sis), I decided to host this event. I love motivating and inspiring women, so it was the perfect event to emphasize to my sisters that they matter, they are important, they are worthy of wellness and that they are loved.

Zumba Workout

PIES Fitness in Alexandria, VA, led us in Zumba and Yoga practice. It was amazing doing these routines under the canopy of trees while feeling the soft breezes against our faces. Hosting this event at Fort Washington Park was an awesome decision. Our blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol screenings were conducted by the Philippine Nurses Association of Metropolitan DC. They also participated in the fun. All the participants felt great afterwards and agreed to make a committment to make time for wellness. Prevention is key to a healthy lifestyle and longevity.

Nurses having fun with Zumba

PIES Fitness Instructor

Group in 'Chair' Pose

A Grandmother with her grand-daughter (priceless)

My sister and I focused on our pose

It does not have to be a formally planned event. Get together with your girlfriends at least once per month and have a wellness event. You can pop in a workout DVD, go for a walk or plan to meet at a gym or yoga studio. Take time to connect with each other and with your inner self. You can thank me later!

Be inspired, be connected, be well and embrace your journey.

~Namaste~

Resources:

PIES Fitness is located at 50 South Pickett Street Suite 223, Alexandria, Virginia 22304

Health care....a kitchen table discussion

2011-05-24T16:04:00.000-04:00

Health care is a major kitchen table discussion among moms and dads across America. According to a 2010 article by USA TODAY, " in 2010, 50.7 million Americans were without health care". My husband and I have spent many evenings discussing our family's health care status. Even though we were business owners, we could not afford to pay for private insurance. Most people think that it's the unemployed that go without insurance, but it's also those who work and make too much for State funded insurance but not enough for private insurance.

Health care is a right not a privilege. Parents should be able to provide that one fundamental safety net for their children....Health care. During the time we were uninsured, my oldest son broke his ankle, my younger son had several asthma attacks and I had an ectopic pregnancy! Thankfully, we had friends who are doctors and we made it through those difficult times getting the care we needed. But what about those families who have no where to turn? I firmly believe that we are our brothers and sisters keepers. It's our job to support moms who may be in this situation and need help and guidance through these difficult times. No time for pride nor embarrassment because a 'closed mouth won't get fed'. Speak out and seek help among friends. We are here to help each other. Most families are living paycheck to paycheck. The middle class as we know it seems to have disappeared. We must be willing to support and encourage those who are having difficulty. Reach out to families whom you know are without insurance. There are state funded programs that can help them.

A report funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation estimates the effects the Affordable Care Act. A portion of The report, written by Urban Institute researchers are as follows:

■The share of adults under age 65 without health insurance would decline by 28 million, from 18.6 to 8.3 percent.

■Costs of uncompensated care provided to the uninsured would drop by 61 percent, from $69.6 billion to $27.3 billion.

■Nearly 30 percent of those who would have been uninsured without reform would be covered by Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Another 20 percent would be covered through the new health insurance exchanges and an additional 10 percent would be covered by private insurance outside the exchanges. Of the remaining 40 percent—those who would still be uninsured—most would be eligible for Medicaid or CHIP but are expected to choose not to enroll.

■The expansion of Medicaid would enroll 13 million adults and nearly 4 million children.

■About 44 million people under age 65 would be covered through health insurance exchanges. About half, 23 million, would be covered by nongroup insurance, the rest by employer-sponsored exchange plans.

This is good news but until these go into full effect under the Affordable Care Act, we need to support each other and find ways that we can help. Talk to your friends and be a friend. Be supportive, be understanding, be healthy and embrace your journey.

Resources:
Benefits.gov
Gettingcovered.org
Healthcare.gov

Celebrate the Victories!

2011-05-18T20:50:00.000-04:00

I spend a great amount of time talking about the challenges of raising teenagers and an elementary school age child. It's tough and at times, emotionally draining. Not this time. Today I celebrate the victories and the rewards that make the difficult times fade...if only for an evening.

I was told years ago that I must celebrate every victory that my kids experience. Whether it's my little one using his manners, or my teenagers apologizing for some wrong-doing, I celebrate. I don't have to wait until they become adults to reap the rewards of the hard work I endure while raising them. I took my therapist's advise and celebrate each and every victory. The way I see it is that if I wait, I can become resentful and may feel that I'm not fulfilling my role as a mother. In short, I may feel like a mother who has failed. That's not a good feeling. So I celebrate.

My celebration is not meant for boasting nor gloating. It's just meant to acknowledge that we've done well....today! It's a proud family moment. My son did not win President of his Student Council. However, he won Vice President of Gonzaga's Onyx Club. That's major! He also placed 3rd in the Martin & Patrick O'Donoghue Oratorical contest at his school. I guess Toastmaster's Club paid off! My 6 year old did not turn a clip for talking in class (he's a big talker) and also scored the only goal to win the soccer game. My husband is one of his coaches and had a proud daddy moment! My daughter won Vice President of her Sophomore class. In addition, she received an award for Outstanding student in Ballet I, Achievement in the classroom and contributions to the Community award and Academic Achievement ~ magna cum laude for three consecutive quarters. Victories abound, so I celebrate!

Tomorrow is another day. My older son may not do homework, my 6 year old son may turn another clip for talking in class and my daughter may 'give an attitude' to unload the dishwasher. That's life. You have to 'roll with the punches' and when victory comes around, don't let it pass you by. Celebrate! Be encouraged, be patient, be balanced and embrace your journey!

A Morning of Wellness

2011-05-17T14:38:00.001-04:00

A Morning of Wellness is not solely for mothers. It's for individuals who are interested in taking control of their health and ready to make a lifestyle change. It's also geared towards those who want to start their day with fun and enjoy being around wonderful families. Finally, it's for the individual who's looking for a 'stress buster' and eager to get started living a healthy lifestyle.

National Women's Health Week: May 8-14, 2011

2011-05-09T23:28:00.000-04:00

Photo: At the end of a hike with son

As women and mothers we tend to put the needs of all others ahead of ourselves. This is your time. This is our time to take care of ourselves. Let us make health and wellness our # 1 priority this month. National Women's Health Week is May 8-14. I urge you to commit to something that encourages wellness. Do some form of movement (ex. walk, dance, run, aerobic class) make healthy choices during mealtime, meditate or be in tune with your mental wellness. Do some form of preventive health screening(diabetes, blood pressure, cancer). Make an appointment to visit your doctor this month.

Check your local listings for events that promote wellness this week. Health fairs, screenings and other fun activities will be taking place nationwide to promote women's health. Make a commitment to focus on you this week. Women are the building blocks of their families and by extension, the entire community. It's time to get moving and this week is a great way to Spring into Health.

According to LetsMove.gov "This year, the Office on Women’s Health is partnering with the President's Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition to support their program, The President’s Challenge—a program that promotes the importance of moving every day and choosing a physical activity that you like so that you will stick with it."

It's time to make that commitment to be in charge of your well being and I hope you take up the challenge this week. Let me know what activity you'll commit to this week to promote your well being. Be inspired, be brave, be healthy, be balanced and embrace your journey!

Mum needs a time-out!

2011-05-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

This week has been so exhausting for me. I have to accept that no one is organized all the time. I pride myself as being very organized. I'm not a 'multi-tasker'. I don't even know what that means. The way I see it, my brain only allows me to do one task at a time. However, I'm a woman who sets tasks and executes them. Not this week though. I'm a mess! I'm not able to focus. I need a timeout.

Most moms, if not all, get burnt out at some point. I just don't understand why I'm burnt out at this time! I'm exercising daily. I'm doing yoga weekly, I get down time and my diet is good. WHY do I feel this way? Am I guilty of masking stress once again? I don't think I am. My responsibility at work has increased and has been overwhelming. Perhaps it's more overwhelming than I've admitted to myself. This space I'm in makes me feel uncomfortable and very vulnerable. I need a timeout.

It's time for me to tap into my inner-self and be present. There comes a time when we are guilty of doing too much. There comes a time when we need to say 'no'. That's difficult for me. However, in order to avert a mental breakdown....I need to stop and take a timeout. I need to spend some quality time in prayer and ask for guidance in managing my stress. It's time for me to stop attempting to play the role of 'super-woman' and seek Divine help. If I continue to throw too many balls in the air, eventually one would hit the ground; so I'm giving myself permission to take a timeout.

A timeout for moms can mean several things. For some it's time at the spa, for others, a night out with friends. Normally, this would be the timeout I would seek. However, this time, I need to find a quiet space and spend sometime with me. I need to organize my thoughts and prioritize my 'to-do' list. I need to stop feeling the need to help 'everyone'. Most of all, I need to ask for help when needed. I seldom do that.

So if you're like me and having a tough week or feeling burnt out, give yourself permission to take a timeout and re-evaluate your priorities. Give yourself the gift of self this Mothers' Day. Treasure the journey of motherhood but don't get lost along the way. Find time for yourself so that you can replenish and renew. Your family would thank you for it. If we become depleted, we will have nothing to give. So give yourself a timeout. Be relaxed, be recharged, be balanced and embrace your journey. Happy Mothers' Day!

Cinco de Mayo

2011-05-02T14:57:00.000-04:00

AP/Photo- Members of Ballet Folklorico

This Thursday is Cinco de Mayo. This Mexican Festival is the celebration of the victory at the Battle of Puebla (May 5, 1862). It is a commemoration of the victory of 5,000 Mestizo and Zapotec Indians over 6,000 of the French Foreign Legion. Major celebrations will be taking place throughout the US and Mexico.

I love celebrations and incorporating them into my everyday life. That's why I'll be making a change to this week's menu to expose my family to the festive Mexican culture. So I'll be heading to the supermarket to grab ingredients for fajitas. The beautiful thing about making fajitas is that you can prepare some stuff in advance. My flank steak will sit in a marinade overnight. The guacamole will be made the night before and my salsa will be store bought. The veggies will be cut and stored in a plastic baggie overnight as well. That way when I return from work on Thursday, dinner should take less that 30 mins to prepare! All ingredients for the meal will be placed on the table and everyone can build their own fajita!

This is a great way to introduce your family to a different culture and have fun at dinner time. So dare yourself to try something different for dinner and have fun with your family. Be adventurous, be festive, be balanced and embrace your journey!

Smart vs Hardworking kids

2011-04-28T21:22:00.001-04:00

Photo credit: Simon A. (age 6)

My husband and I always wrestle with the concept of our kids being intelligent, having high expectations of themselves and working hard. I have a tendency to smother and I sometimes fear that that could lead to my older son returning home at 30. However, that's another post! My kids are smart...but do they work hard? I'm not sure what the answer is to that question. I see them doing work and writing papers but are they working at their full potential? I have a theory for my children. To be successful student athletes they must be disciplined. Balancing sporting activities, a rigorous highschool curriculum and a hectic social life requires discipline and hard work.

We try to instill hard work in our children. However, I never know if they're listening. Their grades are good. Nevertheless, in this competitive world, sometimes good is not enough. I really want them to appreciate hard work and discipline. I want them to work towards accomplishing their goals. I want them to be driven and motivated. Most of all, I want them to be present and enjoy their accomplishments. Can they accomplish this by being smart? Or do they have to work hard?

My husband read recently in the 1st chapter of NurtureShock [The Inverse Power of Praise; "Sure he’s special, but if you tell him that, you’ll ruin him. It’s a nurological fact.”] that if we tell our kids how smart they are they won't work to their full potential and we can ruin them. Yet another thing for a mom to worry about! Have I already ruined my kids? is it too late? The theory is that kids who are told that they are smart do not put effort into their work. Afterall, they're already smart, there's no need for them to work hard. My kids might already be ruined because I always tell them that they're smart. The book also alludes to the fact that when you praise your kids for their hard work, they continually work hard to accomplish their goals. They understand that their hardwork creates the success. I really wish kids came with a damn manual!

Though teaching hardwork is justifiable, it is my belief that in addition, our children also learn from the examples around them like parents, mentors, coaches, etc. If our children witness that the successful adults around them work hard, they'll be inclined to do the same. When I use the word 'successful', I do not mean wealth. I mean working towards a task and accomplishing it. But I'm no psychologist. This is only my 'mum' opinion. What do you think? Do you think that it's counter productive to tell our kids that they're smart? Do you agree that hard work 'trumps' being smart? Can a child be both smart and hard working? Please share your thoughts.

All I can hope and pray for is that we 'do right' while helping shape the minds of our children. I need them to be respectful, law abiding, hardworking, empathetic citizens. That's success. If I accomplish that, then maybe, just maybe, they won't return home when they're 30 and take over the room that was once theirs. Be patient, be supportive, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Spring into health.....let's get glamorous

2011-04-25T00:06:00.002-04:00

I received my first make-up kit at the age of 13 from my Aunt Joan. I was ecstatic. I would get as many magazines as I could and look for ways to apply make up. I started out looking like a clown. However, with time and practice, I've mastered the art of make up application.

I use several products like Bobbi Brown, Vincent Longo, Trish McEvoy, Dior, Covergirl, Maybelline and MAC. However, my favorite overall line of cosmetics is Mary Kay. My love for the products and the way the company empowers women inspired me to become a Beauty Consultant. I enjoy making women (especially moms) look and feel beautiful. There's something about a mom who feels confident and beautiful. Whether it's after a facial or makeup application, my moms exude sexiness after being pampered. It's important for moms to allow themselves to look and feel beautiful, It's part of being healthy. A mom that feels good about herself is able to strengthen her mental capacity with the feeling of confidence.

In order to have healthy skin you must eat balanced meals, drink water and exercise. In addition, you must have a daily cleansing regimen to get radiant, flawless skin. Timewise Miracle set provides 'incredible age-fighting results to help you maintain younger-looking skin'. Healthy skin is the perfect canvas for flawless make-up.

All moms deserve to feel beautiful and glamorous. Re-evaluate your look this spring. Try something fresh and new. Ask your girlfriends to help you with your look. Call me if you need a consultant or would like tips and current trends. Change your brushes and throw out expired products. Give yourself a make over and get new and updated products. It's time to get glamorous and let your healthy body exude sexiness with these and other products that work for your skin type. As you journey through motherhood, do it with style, do it with glamour and maintain balance in your life. Be confident, be beautiful, be sexy and embrace your journey.

Easter.....a time for family

2011-04-21T23:19:00.001-04:00

Photo courtesy: Sierra A

Didn't get invited to the White House Easter roll?
Have one of your own and invite friends and neighbors to join in the fun!

Photo: Sack race

2 years ago I hosted an Easter Egg Hunt for 40 kids. A bit elaborate, but fun nonetheless. I purchased approx. 500 plastic eggs and filled them with candy, toys, stickers and tattoos. I divided the hunt space into 2 age groups(that way the younger kids wouldn't get trampled by the older ones). We had games like sack race, egg and spoon, ring toss, etc and tons of prizes. We read the story of the Resurrection and the kids decorated eggs. I even hired the Omelette Chef!

The Omelette Chef

You don't need to be that elaborate to have fun with the kiddies! Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Purchase plastic eggs and fill them with candy or other favors. Hide the eggs around the house.
Sit and decorate eggs as a fun activity.
Read the story of the Resurrection to your child.
Create an Easter basket with your child.
Bring out the hoola hoop and see who can do it the longest.
Bake Easter cookies together

Hoola Hooping contest with my teens (Clearly I lost)

It does not have to be elaborate. The key is to appreciate your family. Find activities that are cost effective and fun. It's not the cost of the activity, it's the time. Spending time with loved ones is precious. Make your Easter weekend memorable by planning something fun for the whole family. Get engaged and connect with your family. Target, Family Dollar, Wal-Mart and other discount and craft stores sell all that you'll need at a reasonable price. It's not too late to embark upon a fun adventure in the comfort of your home!

It is said that the family that prays together, stays together. So plan that fun activity and don't forget to make time for worship with your family this weekend. Be engaged, be connected, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Detox...my unique experience

2011-04-18T00:01:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit: Sierra A.

Waterfall at Golden Gate Park - San Francisco

Before starting any new physical, dietary or health and wellness program (eg.detox and colonic) please consult your doctor. This is not a program I recommend. It is a journal of my unique experience in the world of detoxing.

If I could be honest, my reason for detoxing was not to have a cleansing, 'nirvana' experience, but rather to savor the taste of lamb one more time. Four years ago, I gave up meat for Lent and since that time my body has rejected it. For the first 2 years I accepted it. The latter 2 years have been difficult. I know all the rawfoodists, vegans and health gurus would say that if my body is rejecting it....I don't need it. I know they're right, but I have to make this last effort to see if my body is sure!

Last Monday I embarked upon a detox journey, hoping to be cured and in the process shed a few pounds. This was by far the most difficult detox I had ever been on. I was not mentally prepared and shamelessly used facebook and twitter along with my sister and cousin to garner support. The first 3 days were extremely difficult. I was irritable. I craved a burger....a big juicy angus beef burger. I haven't had one of those in years. Meanwhile, my support system posted pictures of food, recipes and descriptions of meals that were prepared and enjoyed. I never realized how much emphasis is placed on food within the social media arena!
Nevertheless, I hung in there and stayed motivated. I went outside for a walk on my lunch break to avoid the scent that travelled from the office kitchen to my desk. I worked out in the evening so as to not focus on the delicious dinner my mom prepared for my crew. Meanwhile, my dinner was low sodium soup. It felt like torture! Days 5 through 7 I felt great and had a burst of energy. I'm not sure if it was the detox or the thought of being closer to a gyro (thinly sliced roasted lamb served in a sandwich of pita bread).
On day 7, I ended my cleansing journey with a Colon Hydrotherapy colonic from Herbal Infusion. That was really a different experience.

Photo courtesy: Herbal Infusion
Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

My sister read the book 21lbs in 21days~The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox.We used this for the basis of our detox. We made a few changes for convenience. We bought fresh juices and smoothies on the days we had no time for juicing. Juicing is highly recommended. If you decide to pursue detox, you should purchase a copy of the book and read it before starting and consult your doctor before starting any new diet program.

My detox day
8:00am:

a shot of high density antioxidant berry drink
8ozs of water with a twist of lemon
1 cup hot tea (caffeine free) no sugar or added

10:00am:

8oz glass of fresh orange juice(not from concentrate) w/1 tsp of Kyo-Green
1 cup hot herbal tea

12:00noon:

1 cup vege juice. I used Green Goodness (13 servings of fruits & veges)
8oz bottle water with a twist of lemon

8 min walk outdoors or climb stairs at work

2:00pm:

8 oz bottle water with a twist of lemon
8 oz orange juice w/Kyo-Green
1 cup hot herbal tea (caffeine free) no sugar added

4:00pm:

1 shot high-density antioxidant drink

2 mile run outdoors or 1 hr gym (eliptical machine, treadmill and free weights)

6:30pm:

1 cup homemade cleansing soup
1 cup broth from cleansing soup
1 cup hot herbal tea
8 oz bottle water with a twist of lemon

7:30pm:

1 cup Smooth Move (senna) tea. No sugar added
1 aloe Vera softgel pill.

Note:

No salt or sugar is permitted.
I used Stevia if I needed my senna tea sweetened.
Dulse was used for flavor in all soups.
I omitted the herbal cleansing formula that was recommended.
I also omitted the enzyme capsule
I chose to add lemon to my water (it's not necessary)
Only walking was recommended.
I did not workout on day 7

Breaking the 7 day detox is very important.

Day 1

Continue the detox supplements.
Add a small cup of raw or steamed veges(no dressing) for lunch.
Add a small cup of fruit 2 hrs before meals.

Day 2

Repeat Day 1.
Add whole grain cereal, whole wheat or brown rice ( I will have oatmeal).

Day 3

Repeat Day 2.
Add a fatty acid( I will add flaxseed oil to my veges).
Add protein(I will have a protein shake).

Day 4

Repeat Day 3.
Add other proteins(eggs, soy, nuts, legumes and beans).
Add 3-4 ozs of boiled, broiled or bake fish and chicken to the diet. Red meat can be added the next day. (I will have broiled salmon). On Easter Sunday.....LAMB.

After going through this rigorous cleansing, I'm both apprehensive and conflicted on eating meat again. If I fail this time, I will submit to my body's needs. However, if I'm successful, I may decide not to eat meat again. At least it'll be my choice this time!

My sis and cousin lost approx 8-9 lbs. I didn't weigh before I started. I don't own a scale. However, I see a drastic weight loss. My clothes are loose and my 'backfat' is almost non visible. My stomach is flat....I could only hope that lasts. Doing a detox requires a major support system. It also requires you to slow down and not rush. Meditation and prayer....lots of it was necessary for me.

I sincerely thank my sis and cousin for their daily support. Especially my sis who would visit me at home to offer her support in person and workout with me. Thank you to my mom who made my soups. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you guys. To my family, facebook friends and twitter followers...you guys rock! Be health smart, be supportive, be in balance and embrace your journey!

Spring into health.....let's get 'bikini' ready

2011-04-16T09:33:00.000-04:00

Getting bikini ready requires healthy eating that is delicious and easy to prepare. Susan is the person I turn to for exciting, delicious and fun recipes that will help place me in 'Bikini' mode. Thank you Susan for sending us this delicious recipe!

Chef Susan Irby the Bikini Chef is author of seven books including Substitute Yourself Skinny and Boost Your Metabolism. Susan hosts a weekly radio show, The Bikini Lifestyle with Susan Irby the Bikini Chef, on KABC 790 AM in Los Angeles of which guests include Wolfgang Puck, Venus Williams, Billy Bush, Chef Michael Mina, Chef Ben Ford, and Divya Gugnani of MSNBC. You can visit her at http://www.thebikinichef.com/

Pear Butter

Makes approximately 4 cups

You will need:
3 ripe d’anjou pears, peeled, cored, and chopped

3 ripe golden delicious apples, peeled, cored, and chopped

1 ½ cups water

2 tablespoons honey

In medium quart boiler over medium heat, combine pears, apples, water, and honey. Bring to a soft boil. Cover and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer for about 15 minutes. Uncover, stir, and continue to simmer another 5 to 7 minutes, until fruit is completely tender.

Working in batches if needed (usually takes 2 batches), puree in food processor until smooth.

Serve immediately with toasted whole wheat bread or other breakfast item or chill overnight and serve as a tasty “butter” over grilled, broiled, baked, or poached chicken breasts, turkey, or with fruits or yogurt.

Recipe reprinted with permission Adams Media, copyright 2010, Substitute Yourself Skinny, author Susan Irby the Bikini Chef

Behind the mask....

2011-04-14T14:02:00.003-04:00

This week I reflected on my life as a young wife and mom with two young kids who were two years apart. I was uncertain, insecure, and the world's greatest masker who unknowingly suffered from Graves' disease (brought on by hyperthyroidism). During this period in my life, I felt the need to do everything and please everyone. Isn't that what moms do? I was never present, never connected and putting everyone before myself was the norm. Only if you looked behind the mask you knew who I was.

During those years, I volunteered for any and everything. It was important to feel needed. Nevermind that I had a husband and two beautiful kids who needed me. That was not enough. I needed fulfillment. I wore the mask of the perfect wife and mother. Everyone loved me, yet I felt empty. So many friends and family and still I felt alone. I went through the motions and fulfilled my responsibilities as a wife and mom, executing tasks and activities flawlessly, but I never connected. I was never 'in the moment'. Most of my busyness was contributed to my overactive thyroid. I could not be still. I was always on the move. I was agitated and initiated many arguments with my spouse and extended family. At times, I was downright mean. An endocrinologist told my husband that this disease causes couples to separate and urged him to support me. Even he didn't recognize who this masked woman was. Counselling was necessary.

Time has passed and now my little ones are teenagers, (one of whom would leave for College next year). I am grateful that I made it through those tough years. Being a working mom, raising two kids and learning to live with a man who you'll take a lifetime to know, is no easy task. Nevertheless, you can do it. There is no magic pill or perfect solution. You just do it! Go behind the mask and if neccessary, seek counselling.

I no longer wear a mask. It took years, but it's removed. When I'm sad, I cry. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm angry, I talk. I don't scream or shout. I no longer shut down or stay quiet to accomodate the feelings of others. I express my feelings and move on. I am more empathetic and forgiving. I no longer search for acceptance because I AM ENOUGH! I've learned to say 'no' when it becomes too much. I place myself and my family on my priority list. There's no prize for the busyest mother who wears a mask. However, there is a reward for the mom who is freed from masking, expresses how she feels and connects with those she love.

Stop being the mom who says that her 'kids come first'. Be the mom who puts herself first. It's not a selfish act, it's about taking care of you so that you can take care of them. When you unravel, so does the family. Trust me, I've unravelled several times. So start turning things around by being honest with yourself and take care of you. Be brave, remove the mask, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Spring into Health....let's get renewed

2011-04-11T14:09:00.000-04:00

The Awakening

Most of us believe in a force that's greater than mankind. Whatever that force/energy is for you, tap into it and get renewed. My force or energy is God. Tapping into your force requires meditation and quiet time. Spring is indicative of renewal and rebirth. It's a time to shed bad habits and give birth to good ones.

This time of year (just before Easter) I become reflective and meditative. It is a time when I draw closer to my Creator. We each have separate journeys and it is my hope that I become more disciplined in my relationship with God. My method of connecting is with prayer and meditation. I read inspirational writings and biblical verses and reflect upon them. Other times I do affirmations and listen to music that feeds my soul. And those days when my ego is being loud, I try to quiet it by doing all. Whatever you choose, be sure to carve out time in your day to connect with your force.

Commit to making positive changes in your life and experience a 'spiritual awakening'. Be present. Become aware of the earth that surrounds you. Be thankful. Appreciate those that are not like you. Accept differences in others. Allow positive energy to flow through you. Seek the good in others. Connecting with positive energy that's greater than you contributes to growth and spiritual well being. Practice connecting daily with your positive energy/force. Be meditative, be renewed, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Resources:
http://www.purposedriven.com/

http://www.eckharttolle.com/about/eckhart/

Spring into Health....let's get moving

2011-04-09T10:12:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know, spring is here and it's time to spring into health! It's time to make that commitment to lead a healthy lifestyle. This season marks a new beginning. The workout plan you've been procrastinating over is calling you. Get up and get moving! You don't need fancy equipment or designer clothing, all you need is a push, some determination and will power.
No time for excuses...get moving. Here are some tips to get you started.

Stop using the elevator. Use the stairs.
Busy at work....go for a walk during your lunch break
join a walking club or create one with friends
join a gym
go hiking on the weekend
blast the music and start dancing while doing chores or dance for fun
sign up for a class at the local community center
pop in the workout dvd you bought a year ago
if you can afford it...get a trainer
grab your kid's jump rope and start jumping
get outside and play with your kids

Whatever you do, get moving. Shake the winter blues away and wake up those sleeping endorphins. I promise you'll feel better, you'll be less stressed and you'll be more productive. Exercise is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I know you can do it! Once you get started, you won't want to stop. The feeling you get is like no other. You'll feel amazing! Take it slow if you haven't done an activity in a while and please check with your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine.

Get your kids involved, they would love the challenge and enjoy the time with you. They might even be your greatest cheerleaders. You'll be giving your family the gift of a healthy lifestyle. So log off your computer embrace your journey, be in balance and get moving!!!

Stay tuned for more Posts on my 'Spring into Health' series

Resources:
http://www.ymca.net/find-your-y/

http://www.fitness.gov/

http://www.activityreg.com/

Happy Anniversary!

2011-04-07T13:53:00.002-04:00

Photo credit: Camille Jackson

18 years working in the same space is a long time and it is my hope that I retire there. Apr 8 is my wedding anniversary. Every anniversary is an accomplishment for me. No annual bonus in cash just a peace knowing that my hard work has paid off one more year. Sometimes it feels like I should be paid because the work that's involved is so difficult at times.

Anyone who is married knows that wedded bliss exist for a fleeting moment. Marriage takes committment and a great deal of hard work. At this present moment, I'm in a good place in my relationship...thanks to prayer and counselling. However, it doesn't mean that we agree on everything or smile and laugh all the time. It means that we know our boundaries and we communicate and express our feelings without me calling him an 'ass'! Now that I'm older, I realize that it's important to strive for a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage fosters a healthy family, and by extension a healthy community. It's important that we are an example to our children and share our experiences with our friends.

Research has shown that 50% of marriages end in divorce. So far we've beaten the odds. I've learned a lot about myself and I've become a better me. My life experiences are directly related to the choices I make. I choose to be unselfish and humble and to constantly inject positive energy in all my relationships, my marriage is no exception. Most importantly, God is at the center and our faith creates an anchor. So as we continue on this journey, I pray that we will be blessed with grace, love and good health. Staying in balance and embracing my journey.

Resources:
http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/
http://family-marriage-counseling.com/

Flight anxiety....

2011-04-04T15:52:00.001-04:00

Photo credit: Associated Press (AP)

I had the opportunity to travel to San Francisco with my daughter this past week and was mortified to learn of the Southwest airlines drama. Yet another incident for this mom to worry about! Suffice it to say on my trip back home my mind was racing. I was thinking about all the things I haven't done and haven't said. Yes, I'm one of those moms...I can have an overactive imagination. After about 40 minutes in flight and a glass of chardonnay I convinced myself that I should not worry about the things I have no control over. Flying is still one of the safest forms of transportation.

Upon my return home I learned that the plane lost part of its roof and that holes were discovered in two other planes. Anxiety began to build up once again. Flying is not one of my favorite pastimes but I love to travel. My work and family schedules require me to fly every month for the next 5 months. This might be a great time for me to return to my yoga classes. Yoga enables me to curb anxiety and gain control of my body and my thoughts through deep breathing exercises.

So if you're like me and tend to have an overactive imagination and some flight anxiety, join a yoga class near you. Practice being present when travelling and maintain positive thoughts. Also, know that airline crews are well trained and experienced and we're in good hands. That's why the Southwest crew successfully landed the Boeing 737 at a military base in Yuma, Arizona. So the next time I travel I'll make sure to use these tips I mentioned and if it fails, a glass of wine should do the trick! Be balanced, embrace your journey and Bon Voyage!

Guilty of Over-scheduling

2011-04-02T01:00:00.001-04:00

When I think back on the years when my teens were younger; I realize that I was guilty of over-scheduling. There was ballet and soccer, basketball and piano, saxaphone and tennis, chess and swimming and others in between. I was young and influenced by what other parents were doing with their children. I thought that if I kept them busy they'll be happy. I eventually learned that my kids did not need to be kept busy to be happy.

Over-scheduling was so stressful on me that I became resentful and angry when the kiddies were reluctant to participate. I don't do the over scheduling anymore. I do activities that are convenient and fit into the family schedule. It's never perfect, but it works for now. I dont feel guilty because saying no is liberating and it's important for this mum to maintain sanity. Balancing the activities of three kids is no easy task so it's very important to be fair, but smart.

At this stage in my life, I must do what's convenient. I have a six year old who does not need to do activities all the way across town because it may be highly recommended and reputable. He'll be very happy participating in activities around the corner and down the street from our home. As he gets older, if he loves the activity and requires a greater challenge, we'll review and make a decision then. For now, he's local... very local and will not be participating in more than two (2) activities per season.

My advise to parents who are conflicted with kiddie activities:
Don't compete with other parents because all kids are different.
Do what works for your family.
Do encourage participation in different activities(just not all at once).
Do find out which activity your child loves.
Don't be alarmed if he stops loving it.
Do include your partner or spouse in the decision. Kid activities should be a family decision.

Now that camp season is approaching and activities are in abundance; be prepared, get all involved, embrace the journey and be in balance.

"Do Right"

2011-03-28T14:58:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit:AP

Last night I had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Maya Angelou who was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network. As she spoke about her life, she repeated a phrase which her grandmother reinforced in her. "Do right". This phrase stuck with me. So simple, yet so very powerful. We spend so much time competing with each other, envying another's success, poking fun at the expense of others. We even wish ill upon some. Why? Is it boredom or jealousy? Is it misery seeking company? Whatever the reason, it cannot be justified. We get one chance at this life and we should practice to 'do right'.

We complicate our life. We get caught up in the titles, the labels and the need to feel important and recognized. At the end of our days, does that really matter? Would others say, "she was a kind and loving person." or "she cared only about herself and her possessions." Social media has taken us so far away from reality that sometimes as we live our lives in cyberspace, we neglect the ones who are close by. We spend hours per week impressing our thousand 'friends' when it would take 10 mins to call a real friend to say 'hello'. It's time for us to do a reality check and 'do right'.

While we're seeking our life's purpose; we're missing the foundation upon which our lives were built....love. Let's take a moment to evaluate ourselves. Practice seeing the good in others. Encourage your sisters and brothers in their time of difficulty. If you are having a difficult time, be prayerful and thankful. Seek out the 'rainbow in your cloud'. Be a comfort to others. Choose words that build not those that destroy. Practice thinking positively, have a forgiving spirit and 'do right'.

As we continue our life's journey, it is my hope that we keep Dr. Angelou's words, 'do right', in the forefront of our minds. Let us attempt to enjoy the simplicity of life. "...Love your neighbor as yourself" Matthew 22:39(NIV). Be kind, be balanced and embrace your journey.

My name is mom. Who are you?

2011-03-24T13:55:00.000-04:00

Photo courtesy: Sierra A.

I never know who I'm greeting on any given day! My name is Mom. Who are You? Teenagers are a unique species. You have to speak their language and study their behavior! Well, at least the ones in my house. My conversation with my teens have been reduced to acronyms. OMG, WTH! They don't respond when I call but when I text....I get an immediate response. So immediate that they may send three texts while I'm responding to their first. I'm no expert on human behavior, but I'm on my way to being a Subject Matter Expert (SME) on this species.

In an attempt to understand them, I ask questions. Are you seriously gonna wear THAT? Why do you have the music that loud...in your ear? Did you finish your homework? Why are you up at 2:00am....on a school night? Who are you talking to at that hour? Did you have to use 6 eggs in your omelette? That's just a few questions to which the answers are always...What?~Huh?~Not sure~Ummm? Nobody~Yup! I'm sure I'm not the only mom to discover this species. However, most moms never admit their encounter with them. I think it's time for moms of teenagers to share with new moms what they'll encounter in a few years. It's not to scare them....just to prepare them. I know that most moms want to believe that they have the perfect child...and you probably do. Nevertheless, when puberty strikes and the hormones kick in...watch out cause it'll catch you off guard!

As difficult as it is for us to manage their changes, we must understand that it's even more challenging for them. They're striving for independence, they're encountering immense peer pressure, and among other things, their bodies are doing things they dont quite grasp. And even though I know these things, I still lose my mind at times when dealing with them. However, I do understand that my role is to empathize, support and love.

I really love my unique species and enjoy learning hip new trends from them. They've taught me a whole new language. I can speak 'teenage-ese'! I still walk around asking, "who are you...and what have you done with my kids?" Then I smile and whisper to myself....'they'll be back soon' . Moms of teens, it'll be over soon, moms of perfect little ones...get ready! Either way, make it a priority to share with others and seek help in extreme circumstances. Most of all, remember, you're not alone. We're all on this journey together!

It's your body...love it

2011-03-21T17:00:00.000-04:00

Paul Gauguin: Portrait of a Tahitian Woman in Thought

It's important for mothers to develop a healthy body image. Some women don't like taking pictures of themselves because they think they should be a size 4 or 6. My theory is that you should be at a size that's comfortable and healthy. For some, that may be a 12 or 14. Developing a healthy body image for yourself is difficult, but necessary for the development of healthy children.

Our self esteem and the way we see ourselves directly affect our children. It's very challenging for pubescent children. This is a very fragile stage of life. They're figuring out who they are and trying to fit in. Making a comment on size can send your child into a tailspin. Be mindful and choose your words wisely when discussing weight and the body. I no longer say that I want or need to diet. I dropped that years ago because diets have proven to be a very futile exercise for me. Encourage your family to move. Get out and walk and play outdoor games with your children. Be mindful of the meals you prepare and the quantity you consume. Talk to your family about healthy choices. Use positive and encouraging words when you speak to your family about a healthy lifestyle. Most importantly, love yourself and embrace your body.

Spring is a great time to make changes. Everything feels new and rejuvenating. Take some time to look at yourself in the mirror daily and practice loving what you see. It's your gift of self. It's the body God created especially for you. Accept it, love it, take care of it. It's the only one you have so don't abuse it or be ashamed of it. Be a good example for your family. Get moving, eat healthy and embrace your journey.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T12:51:00.000-04:00

I was reading a post yesterday by Missy Yates in LongIslandpress.com which included this recipe. It's simple and sounded like a perfect meal for my busy moms...and dads in honor of St. Patty's Day!

You'll need to pair it with a 'Pint'! Enjoy and Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Corned Beef and Cabbage Recipe

1 piece of corned beef brisket (about 5 lbs)

boiling water
1 Tablespoon mixed pickling spices (these probably come with your corned beef)
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar (the secret ingredient)
1/2 cup prepared mustard

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Wash the brisket and place in a large roasting pan on oven rack and cover the meat with boiling water. Add pickling spices and cover with aluminum foil.

Bake for two hours, or until tender. Allow to cool in cooking liquid.

About one hour before serving, drain cooked corned beef and return to roasting pan. Bake at 325 degrees for another 30 minutes.

Combine the brown sugar and mustard in small bowl and spread on the corned beef. Bake for another 30 minutes or until the beef is well glazed.

Now to make it extra special, here is a great recipe for a special sauce to dip the corned beef in:

You’ll need:

1 8 oz container of sour cream
2 Tablespoons prepared mustard
2 Tablespoons prepared horseradish

Combine all these ingredients together and refrigerate about an hour to two hours to get the flavor to peak.

Cabbage:Chop up a head of cabbage, boil it till tender. Take a pack of bacon, chop it up in centimeter pieces and saute. When cabbage is tender, drain out the water and mix in the bacon.

Meal planning tips for busy moms

2011-03-12T21:15:00.000-05:00

Photo Credit: AP/Larry Crowe

Saying that I'm a busy mom of three sounds a bit cliche. Nevertheless, I had to find efficient ways to manage my home without driving myself crazy. With the help of my husband, I developed a strategy for meal planning.

Step 1: Draft a menu for the week. Include the entire family in the menu planning process.

Step 2: Create a shopping list based on the menu.

Step 3: When buying frozen vegetables at bulk stores....separate into dinner size portions and place in freezer bags. If buying fresh, cut up veggies and store in refrigerator (prepping ahead saves time).

Step 4: marinate meats the night before cooking and store according to meat package instructions.

Step 5: Keep menu in a visible location. I keep mine on the refrigerator door. That way the kids know what's for dinner!!!

Try to keep your weekly menu simple. Save the intricate gourmet meals for the weekend when you have more time to prepare. It's ok to have pre-packaged meals at least 1 night a week....make sure you read the sodium content.

Also, because you have all that you need, feel free to switch the menu around. If chicken is on Tuesday, but you'd rather cook the skirt steak that's slated for Thursday....go for it, cook the steak. There are no strict rules. If your kids are like mine, they'll check out what's for dinner before they leave for school. So be sure to inform them of the change!

Effective planning and time management strategies enables you to get things done with less stress. Adopt the above approach or use it as a guide and see your nights become a little less hectic, at least for dinner time.
Embrace your journey, be balanced and bon appetit!

Don't get stuck....Don't give in!

2011-03-06T22:21:00.001-05:00

During these difficult times we tend to get stuck and focus on the things we don't have and wishing for the things we want. It can be very frustrating living the same experience daily and feeling a sense of anxiety and hopelessness. Make a conscious decision to try something different. You are here for a purpose and it is your right to live on purpose.

Start with your inner thoughts. Carve out time with yourself and meditate on the life you desire. Affirm who you are and what you deserve. Develop an attitude of positive thinking. You were born for great things. Claim it! Believe in yourself and know that this dificult time is only for a moment. Prayer and belief in a Higher being will awaken the soul and energize you. Feed yourself with motivational writings. Listen to music that's inspirational. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your endeavors. Volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen. There are others less fortunate than you and helping them will bring you inner joy.

It's very easy to become distant and discouraged. It happens to everyone. Don't give in. Be mindful of your day to day activities and stick to process. Approach your daily activities consciously. Write a 'To Do" list and execute your tasks diligently. As you complete a task strike it off the list. You will feel accomplished. To develop an attitude that's positive takes practice.....lots of it.

Practice the steps recommended daily for at least twenty one days. It will become a habit and you'll be on your way to living on purpose. Life is wonderful and you deserve to enjoy it. Remember that "everytthing is working together perfectly for your Highest good". Stay encouraged, stay positive and embrace your journey.

Reflections of 2010

2010-12-31T01:22:00.002-05:00

It's always helpful to reflect on the year to evaluate your successes, failures, finances, relationships and life in general. This way you know what you need to improve upon as you venture into the new year. One of the things that I have done was write down where I have mis-stepped. I strive for balance in my life and I have fallen short in some areas. I have no regret because I know that one's life will never be in perfect balance.

As I reflect on 2010, I become humbled and grateful. This year was filled with challenges and promises and I appreciate every experience. During my reflection, I focused on my financial challenge. Due to economic circumstances our business took a huge hit financially like most small businesses. Financial obligations dictated that I venture out into a new experience while my husband continued working hard at saving our business. For the first time in eleven years, I've separated from my husband and our business and began a new career. My ability to 'let go' allowed me to embark upon this new venture without fear or hesitation. This challenge became a promise. I believe now that the past eleven years was preparing me for this new experience, which is my passion...helping women and children. I have the unique pleasure of positively impacting the health and lives of residents of public housing nationwide. The circumstances that led me to this career could have only been orchestrated by God.

I am thankful for all my experiences this year, both good and not so good, because they all contributed to my growth. I am a firm believer that 'everything is working together perfectly for my Highest good'. I have family and friends who love me in spite of my flaws. Moreover, I have my Father who loves me in spite of myself and who continues to direct my path. His word is indeed a "lamp to my feet and a light for my path".(Psalm 119:105, NIV)

I no longer feel the need to 'control' every circumstance. For now, my ego is silenced and I have begun practicing to surrender. Surrendering has brought me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I don't make resolutions, I make plans. As I embark upon 2011, I plan to live on purpose and live my life filled with joy and love. I plan to pursue balance and live a more authentic life. In short, my plan for 2011 is to live victoriously!

I urge you to take some time and be present with your thoughts and reflections of 2010. Write down the experiences you are grateful for and enter 2011 with a positive attitude. Remember, if you only say one prayer, let it be one of thankfulness. I pray that you experience the very best the New Year has to offer and that love, good health and favor be with you throughout the year!

Happy New Year!

Letting go.....not easy....but necessary!

2010-09-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

Leaving my mom for school was very terrifying for me. I was very attached to my mom. I felt that we needed each other. I was perfectly fine with the fantasy of missing school and cuddling with my mom all day! I always had a need to be with mom. I missed her when she was not around. As a child, first day of school was always an anxious day for me. As an adult, first day of school for each of my children has been equally anxious! Once again, I have a first grader who started school. The anxiety grew within me while he beamed with excitement! My baby is growing up….and there’s nothing I can do about it. I have two choices, I can wallow in my insecurity or I can be fully present and celebrate the various milestones of his life! I chose the latter.

I believe that I focused on the separation because my kids were becoming independent and I was fearful that they would no longer need me. What role will I now play in their lives? Have I outlived my usefulness as a mother? Will they still need me? Will they still love me? After experiencing teens, I am convinced that I will not outlive my usefulness and I will always be loved. As mothers, we cannot be selfish and give in to our insecurities. We need to acknowledge them and think about the ones who can be severely affected….our children. It is necessary for them to become independent. Our role is to encourage not hinder. Children, even babies can sense a parent’s anxiety. The last thing we need to do is cause them to feel unsafe at school because we are anxious. We don’t need them to worry that mom is sad to see them go to school. Why is mom crying, is school unsafe?

There’s no need for first day jitters…some of our children may be nervous as it is! Our role is to prepare them for the big day. Make it fun and encourage our big boys and girls! It can be very rewarding to see our children off to school with a big smile and a proud look on their faces. So tell them how proud you are of them. Reassure them that school is safe and that they’ll see you after school. They trust us, they need us, and they love us! They look to us for reassurance and comfort.

Even though school has begun, it’s not too late, send them off with a smile on your face and a tear in your heart. Not a tear of fear and insecurity, but a tear of joy and pride. You did good mom…your little one has made it! Good luck and have a balanced school year!!!

Being present in time

2010-06-30T23:04:00.001-04:00

Being present & giving my Aunt undivided attention

Lately I've been very reflective and thankful for all my experiences. I'm enjoying living for today and being present in time with those I love. Our lives become so busy and hectic that we tend to go through the motions and the schedules and exist rather than live. We always have 'somewhere to be or something to do'. Are we connecting? Are we present? Are we wasting precious time?

Since losing my dad a few years ago, I've grown to appreciate time. However, I'm also guilty of being wrapped up in the busyness of life. There are days when I plan stuff for my 5 year old and he would sometimes respond that he'd like to just stay at home with me. I'm learning to stop and be present with my son. There's no time like the present and I know for sure that I would never regain these years with him. I am becoming a person who lives for today as I embrace my life in the now! I love my life and enjoy sharing it with everyone.

I've learned to spend quiet time and be present with myself as I talk with my God. I spend time with my hubby and kids and other members of my family and friends. I even make time for strangers who eventually become friends. Giving your time to those you love is precious and rewarding. Be present when you spend time with others. Give them your undivided attention. Too many times I've been with others while thinking what's next on my agenda. As I continue to practice being present, appreciating time and living in the now, I invite you to do the same. We may not perfect the art, but at least we are willing to do our best to spend quality time with those we love and be present in their presence.

Appreciate the time you spend with your loved ones, be present, be balanced and embrace your journey now.

Single moms.....a new type of superhero!

2010-06-03T00:41:00.001-04:00

Raising children is a challenging undertaking. Raising children alone appears to be the job of a superhero! There were times in my past when I've said that I felt like a single parent. I apologize for that statement because I do not have a clue what that is like. I might have had a little more juggling than my husband, but I was ever alone.

The single mothers that I know are strong, hard working and dedicated to their children's success. I admire their devotion and committment as they parent alone. It is important that all mothers support each other. As moms we need to encourage, uplift and support each other on our journey...and that includes single moms.

Ways in which you can reach out to the single moms in your life:

Offer to take her kid(s) for a couple hours

This allows mom to do whatever she likes for a couple hours....chances are it'll be laundry. At least she'll be doing it alone.

Assist her with carpool (school & activities)

Mom might be running late or unable to leave the office. Knowing that a friend is picking her child up will place her mind at ease.....at least for the first 15mins.

Arrange a babysitter for her and take her out for an evening of fun

Every mom needs adult time and interaction away from work. Getting mom to 'let her hair down' could help her get her groove back!

Ask her how you can help her

Even though we may have ideas on how to help, the best way is to sometimes ask. This way you'll be more effective and create an impact.

Email her an inspirational quote

Sending inspirational messages can uplift a person's day (moms are no exception). Send her a note and make her day! The note you send her could motivate her to get through a tough day.

Give her a call to check in with her

Giving your single mom a call is always the best form of contact. Allow her to vent, cry and laugh. Afterall....what are friends for? Never let life get in the way of friendship. Never be too busy to listen.

As you navigate through this journey of motherhood, remember to be kind and show love and support to those who are in need. Be supportive, be uplifting and embrace your journey!

"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" - Mother Teresa

Senioritis...the disease that struck my daughter

2010-05-12T23:35:00.002-04:00

My daughter has been struck by a disease known as Senioritis and there's nothing I can do about it. There are 15 school days left before she is cured by graduating from 8th grade. I'm praying that I make it with my sanity in tact and without emptying every bottle of wine in my chiller.

Earlier this week, my soon to be high school daughter drove me crazy with her bouts of senioritis. She has adopted a laissez faire approach towards her school work and communique from school. She walks around the house in slow motion and is lazier than usual. I don't see her studying and she constantly asks to stay home from school. Her only form of interest is being Glinda, the good witch, in her school play, 'The Wizard of Oz' and working on a powerpoint presentation for her graduating class. Oh yes...she shows excitement about the dresses we have to get her for graduation!!! In other words, she's only into the fun stuff.

It's been very tough for me to see the girl who's usually dicsiplined and focused displaying a dismissive attitude on the final stretch. After a couple glasses of wine and exchanging thoughts with friends, I realize that my little girl has worked very hard over the years and has done extraordinarily well academically. It's time for this mom to 'cut her some slack' and allow her to enjoy her final weeks as an 8th grader. She needs to live in the moment and embrace this experience. Saying it is easy...doing it...well.....I'm trying. My little girl is growing up and seems to need me less. Could it be that I despise the fact that she's growing up? Perhaps this is why I make such a big deal about her not being focused and lacking discipline. I recognize that I'm vulnerable and emotional about her graduating. Time has gone by way too quickly. I know that she is a responsible student...afterall her report card reflects it and she was accepted into two great schools. I need to give her space.

Clearly I'm trying to control and hold on to the little girl whom I escorted to kindergarten eight years ago. I have to allow her to go through the motions. She has a bond with her classmates and is anxious about this next phase of her life...high school. I recognize that she needs me to be supportive and understanding. She needs my guidance without the smothering. My daughter needs to enjoy her final weeks at school and I will do my part to listen and engage in the moments she chooses to share with me. I want to be present during this pivotal moment of her life. I have accepted my role as her cheerleader and supporter. It's only fifteen school days left. I can do it.

I am certain that her senioritis will be cured on Graduation day but I'm convinced that it'll return in four years. Until then, I will be present during every moment I have with her. I will embrace the laughter, the arguments, the smiles and the tears. I will pray for guidance and patience and welcome the new experiences. For those with 8th graders, be supportive, be patient and embrace your journey!

Mother's Day....a time to show appreciation

2010-05-01T01:27:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day is a time to show appreciation for the mom in your life! This day should not be an overwhelming experience. It should be one filled with love. Use the following ideas as a guide in your preparation.

Ideas for Mother's Day:

For the outdoor mom

Go hiking or strolling in a park

Pack a basket and head out on a picnic

For the gardener mom

Plant flowers in the garden or window box
Purchase plants and garden apparatus for mom

For the foodie mom
Pack a basket with gourmet goodies along with a gourmet cookbook
Take her for dinner at a restaurant of her choice

For just about any mom

Purchase a spa package
Purchase gym membership or yoga classes
Prepare breakfast in bed or afternoon tea
Create gift certificates that she can redeem during the year (ex. You may redeem this cert. for a day off from household chores and/or driving kids around. Duties will be performed by dad and kids.)
Get crafty and make mom a gift (t-shirt, clay hands)
Design a flower pot and plant herbs or flowers
Assemble a photo album with funny family pics
Make her a card
Write her a poem

These are just a few ideas to make mom feel special on May 9, 2010. Show your love by being thoughtful and appreciative. Let her know how much you love and care for her. Shower her with hugs and kisses and lots of attention.

I hope I've inspired you to make this day special for your mom. Embrace mom and be creative!

Resources

SELF discipline

2010-04-25T23:51:00.001-04:00

Artist: Alex Bannykh

My teenage son is at it again....incomplete homework assignments, reason...couldn't get into it. My initial feeling was anger, my thought....well...maybe I shouldn't say it out loud! I really wish this child came with an instruction manual. In lieu of a manual, I decided to breathe, talk to God and then talk to my son.

As I struggle with my son's lack of discipline, mine became visible. We all go through phases in life that are monumental. Mine is the 40th year, my son's...his teenage years. Accepting that this is where I am, I'm in a much better position to help myself, and in turn, help him. My first instinct was to go through the long speech about his future. However, I'm aware that teens live in the here and now.
Now that I'm forty, I'm learning to tap into my inner strength to make a decision and execute a given task until it is completed regardless of any resistance. I just pray that it doesn't take him until 40 to get it!

As an athelete he never misses practice. He has discipline in sports and has made practice a habit which has brought him success. Aristotle said "We are the product of what we repeatedly do". My task is to coach and help him to also make his homework a habit. But first I need to practice my own self discipline. This is a great opportunity for me to realize my own shortcomings. I get angry with him...when in reality I'm seeing my self in him. I'm angry with me. I've struggled with self discipline because I have a fear of failure. I don't start tasks because I believe that if the task failed...I'm a failure. My son seems to have a 'fear of failure' also. I've since learned that I should not tie myself to the task. So I've committed to a few tasks related to my health and I'm executing. I'm coaching by example and not by words.

Pursuing a balanced life teaches me to appreciate who I am and to love myself in spite of my flaws. As I grow I can help guide my children by example. It is my hope that they develop self discipline much earlier than I did and maintain that skill for a lifetime. It's always wise to take a deep breath when confronting your kids because in some instances, you may be confronting yourself! Be disciplined, be fearless, be wise and embrace your journey.

Resources:
This book is a helpful tool for developing self discipline

The naked truth

2010-04-15T00:42:00.001-04:00

I stepped out my shower, looked at myself in the mirror and realized the naked truth…my body parts are aging! In my teenage years, I was too skinny. In my 20s, my skin was scarred and blotchy (thanks to chicken pox). In my 30s, back fat and dimpled thighs appeared and now that I’m 40, everything is heading south!!!

I exercise often, I’m vegetarian, I am a health conscious eater (when I’m not devouring desserts) and I meditate daily. Apart from gravity holding my breasts hostage, genetics seem to be responsible for my dimpled thighs and back fat. In spite of my efforts, my flaws are visible and difficult to accept. During my 40th year I’m journeying on the road to acceptance. At the end of this journey, I will embrace the body I was blessed with. My focus will be on health and not dress size. This is my body and I don’t get a do-over at least not for free. I’m too scared of surgery and my budget does not allow such an expense. My standard will be one that I set for myself and not what is echoed by the print and electronic media.

For now, I’ll continue to work hard to remain healthy and fit. I’ll eat the right things and be more disciplined in my workout. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to dedicate more than an hour to my exercise routine (to include more core strengthening). Until then, I’ll wear my spanx, padded, push-up bras and clothes that stretch. During this journey I hope to become a more confident, fabulous woman who exudes sexiness with my walk, charm and smile...…and when I forget, I’ll recite Maya Angelou’s poem Phenomenal Woman as a reminder. Be healthy, be beautiful, be balanced and embrace your journey!!!

An excerpt of Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Resources: This book has four poems that inspired many women!

Not....happily ever after

2010-04-07T22:47:00.001-04:00

Growing up we dreamed of getting married and living 'happily ever after'. The latter was the dream! Somewhere between the vows, the job and the children someone forgot to mention...hard work. There are many people who are in shock that the fairytale does not exist. Luckily, I'm not one of them.

I got married to a man who brings me breakfast in bed and gets the kids ready and drive them to school. Shops at exquisite stores for me. He checks in with me throughout my day and sometimes calls just to say he loves me. This man even tells me that I'm sexy and that he loves my body! This man leads our family in prayer and prays with me some nights. However, this is the same man who keeps the toilet seat up, walks out and over his clothes. This is the same man who looks at me strangely(pursing his lips to argue) when I come home with multiple shopping bags. Yes, the same man who criticizes my business and family decisions...then adopt them. The one who complains about having a housekeeper...meanwhile he hires a landscaper! This is the man I married because he cooked.....then we got married and he complained that I didn't! He's also the man who takes the milk out the refridgerator and leaves it out. Yes! It's the same man!

You see no one told me that it would be a fairytale, but I didn't think it would be this labor intensive! I have felt so many emotions being married to this man. I've felt love, desire, hurt, anger, passion, overwhelmed, happy, sad, disappointed, dizzy and confused. Amidst all my emotions, I've felt love the most. Our union is not perfect but it's worth the hard work. Just before our 10 year mark we went through very rough patches, but we've healed and we've grown. I believe that if two people are committed to each other and their relationship, that they can overcome most things. However, both must be committed. God is very present in our marriage. I pray for my husband daily.......sometimes twice daily if he irritated me. I've learned to listen and be more patient. I encourage and support him in all his endeavors....I'm his loudest cheerleader and he is mine. I feel confident that he's 'got my back' and would always protect me. I feel safe when I'm in his arms. Though I don't depend on him to make me happy, I'm happy when I'm with him and we enjoy spending time together.

I'm thrilled that we've grown to appreciate and respect each other's boundaries especially when we disagree. He makes me laugh even when I'm angry. He's one of the funniest men I know and I love him. He's a loving husband, dedicated provider and an outstanding father. As we embark upon our 17th year of marriage, I embrace my husband, my best friend and the love that we share together. This journey is no fairytale but I'm loving it and still hoping that one day he'll remember to put the milk back into the refridgerator!

Resources:
This book is a helpful aid in communication.

The gift of self

2010-04-01T16:03:00.000-04:00

As we drove off from our son's school on Wednesday night, my husband struck up a conversation about our children. Our son left for Florida with his school's track and field team. My husband began by saying how proud he was of his children and how he wished he could give them the world. My response was that he gives them something much more valuable...himself. There's nothing more valuable than the gift of self.

As parents we get caught up in the 'things' that we give our children. No matter the age, all our children want is our love and undivided attention. The stresses of day to day life and demands at work can sometimes hinder our time with our children. Sometimes we give them 'things' in guilt because we're not able to be with them. There's nothing wrong with giving things to your child but there must be boundaries and limitations. Time spent with your children allows you to influence them and instill your moral values on them. Teenagers would love spending time with parents if they feel respected and their independence is not compromised. In other words, when spending time with your teens, don't nag them or highlight their faults. Instead, get to know them by listening to their interests. Before you know it, they'll be off to college. Invest your time now and it'll yield great rewards!

I had a proud mommy moment when my son uttered thanks and appreciation to his father and me for enabling him to go on his trip. He hugged and gave us farewell kisses. My son is by no means perfect, but moments like this make the imperfections disappear. It's times like these that make me feel accomplished and successful. The time I spent paid off...if only for a fleeting moment. During this Spring break spend some one on one time with your children. Take them shopping with you or to the supermarket. Sit and have dinner together at home. Go for a walk. Spend some time in their world and get to know them. They may think you're acting weird. So what! Be weird, be positive and embrace your journey!

Resources:
Family Guide

Spring time....a rejuvenating experience

2010-03-21T15:37:00.004-04:00

Spring represents a new beginning. As I de-cluttered and reorganized my house, my mind and my spirit began to make the transition to that new beginning. Spring time is such a rejuvenating experience. It's a time when moms clean, de-clutter and reorganize. It's also the time we choose to reassess our bodies and create a workout plan to get us swimsuit ready. Even though we recognize that cleaning and exercising should be an ongoing process.

Working on my son’s closet and removing the clothes that no longer fit, gave me a sense of clarity and I reflected on this past year and the struggles I’ve experienced. My boat was tossed around in the storm and my life was rearranged. Things that no longer ‘fit’ into my life were cast overboard and my heart and soul lightened. God reorganized my life the same way I reorganized Simon’s closet. When I de-clutter and reorganize physical spaces, I experience clarity of mind and renewal of spirit. This cleansing process allows God to work with, in and through me. The old adage, ‘cleanliness is next to Godliness’ rings true for me. I cleanse my mind when I run and my spirit when I pray. In doing so, I become a more relaxed mother who is easy-going and filled with joy. So as I clean, I make room in my heart for God’s spirit to dwell there. As He dwells in me, I am able to be a better mother, a faithful and supportive wife, a loving daughter and sister a thoughtful friend and a caring neighbor.

When I go running to stay in shape.....not sure if I'll ever be swimsuit ready, I experience a renewed appreciation for my environment. The sun, the trees, the birds and the crisp clean air are such great wonders. I feel rejuvenated and connected to creation. I’ve shed the dead weight of winter and I feel alive in mind and spirit! It is necessary for me, as a mother, to have my mind and spirit in balance. This balance affords me the opportunity to listen to my loved ones and connect with them.

During this Spring season, as you de-clutter and reorganize your homes and prepare your bodies for ‘beach season’, take time to reflect on your inner selves and evaluate the cleansing that needs to occur. Carve out time for prayer and meditation daily. Appreciate your environment as you walk, run, bike or drive. Stop and admire the flowers and other wonders of our earth. Connect with you and your Creator. Be present, be beautiful, be balanced and embrace your journey.

A timeout for mom

2010-03-15T13:20:00.000-04:00

This past week was very challenging for me. One teenager seemed distant while the other seemed dazed and my 5 yr old complained that his sister was being mean towards him. No one was doing chores and I allowed the tension to build and I caved. I allowed myself to cry and release. I was vulnerable. I turned to my husband who, thankfully didn’t roll his eyes, but listened and offered his help. As my husband held me during my meltdown, I realized that my problem was deeper. I felt overwhelmed, disappointed and hurt.

Last week I was trying to understand why chaos had taken up residence in my home. It was time to de-stress and regain control. Then my son sent me an email this morning and it hit me. My children are overwhelmed, too! My daughter is in her final months of 8th grade, which can be very overwhelming. There’s tremendous anxiety associated with these last months. Not to mention, the transition from a very small school (30-8th graders) to a High School whose 9th grade class has approx 120 students. My almost 16 year old son is feeling the pressure of his sophomore year and athletics coupled with the anxiety and stress that comes along with being a teenager. Unfortunately, my 5 year old got caught in the teenage crossfire.

So today I took a timeout. I’ll regroup and get us back on track. I began with a prayer for guidance, counsel and blessings upon my brood. As moms, we sometimes get hung up on our routine and busy schedules and we forget that our children need emotional support. It’s ok for John to miss piano practice because his day was overwhelming. Instead of enforcing practice, stop and listen to what transpired during his day. Schlepping them from one activity to another can cause us to lose sight of what’s really important…..their emotional wellbeing. Do we take time to sit and really listen to what’s going on with them? Are we connected to them? Can we sense when they are not in balance? Are we aware of their anxieties? I need to make more time to listen and connect with my teenagers. They’re older and needs are different. I’ll ask them what is working for them and where they feel improvement is needed. Together with my husband, I’ll help them with stress management and give them the tools they need to get on track. Most importantly, we’ll let them know how much we love them and how proud we are to be their parents.

As you journey through motherhood, take a timeout, reassess your family needs and act upon it. Our children need us to be connected. They need our direction and guidance. Their needs change during different phases. I’m going through a phase change so I’m reassessing. However, some things will remain constant…..my love, my support and the chores!

Bedtime woes!

2010-03-09T00:38:00.001-05:00

We’ve established a bedtime routine with all our children. The teenagers no longer stick to a routine…at least not one I’m aware of! Most recently, our 5 year old son, Simon (SJA), has tried to challenge the routine without success. Since he was a toddler we had a bedtime routine. We’ve modified it, but it’s basically the same. His latest rants ‘I’m not ready to sleep’, ‘Sierra’s not in the bed’, ‘I want daddy to read me a story’….the list is endless. However, he still manages to fall asleep by 8:30pm, most nights.

A bedtime routine gives children a sense of calm and security; but could drive you nutty in the process.

Here’s the routine that works for me.
1hr before bedtime:
Mum: Simon here’s your milk!
A cup of warm strawberry milk. It soothes him and he knows bedtime is near.

7:15pm
Mum: Simon, it’s time to take a bath.
SJA: I don’t want to take a bath…I don’t want to go to bed!!!
A warm bath followed by lathering his body in baby oil/lotion. The scent is soothing and I need to remain calm.

7:30pm
Mum: Time to brush your teeth and put on your PJs!
SJA: You brush it mommy. My hand is tired!
Dental hygiene is important to your child’s health. Night time brushing is essential.

7:35pm
Mum: Don’t forget to use the bathroom!
SJA: I did!
Using the bathroom helps avoid accidents that can interrupt sleep (yours and his)

7:40pm
Mum: You have 5 minutes….then we’ll say our prayers.
SJA: Ok, I’m going to grandma’s room

7:45pm
Mum: Simon, it’s time for prayers.
SJA: I’m not ready yet. Sierra’s not in her bed!
We say our prayers (spiritual connection is important to our family)

7:50pm
SJA: Mommy read the Grandpa Book please.
Story time is a special bonding time for us.

8:00pm
Hugs and kisses and lights out. However, his closet light is turned on.

Some nights he falls right off to sleep. Other nights…..not so quickly.

8:15pm
SJA: Mom, mommy, MOM!!! I’m not tired!
Mum: Relax Simon and close your eyes.

8:25pm
SJA: Can I have some water? I’m thirsty.
Mum: Good night Simon.

8:30pm
SJA is fast asleep hugging one of his bears.

There’s no perfect routine. However, a routine is important. Sticking to a routine requires a great deal of sacrifice. It’s hard work, but worth it. Once you’ve found a routine that works, stick to it. No matter what your little one may try, be consistent! It’s beneficial for kids to adopt healthy sleep habits. It’s also important for a mom to have some down time. A balanced lifestyle requires down time. So if you’re experiencing bedtime woes, try developing a routine. It’s not too late. Good luck and sweet dreams!

Resources:
Sleep Guide

The Helicopter Mom

2010-03-05T00:15:00.003-05:00

Years ago I said to myself that if I did all the right parenting stuff in the early years, I would be less stressed when my kids became teenagers. Boy was I wrong! I constantly hovered, worried about hurt feelings, worried about homework, checked to see if they took their lunches that I packed the night before, remind them to grab their bags for extra curricular activities. When does it stop? The hovering, I mean. When did I become the helicopter mom?

My soon to be 16 year old son used to misplace his soccer cleats, or piano music or paper for class. There I was in a frantic mode hovering as I helped him. If he or his sister forgot homework, I would gladly leave work and take it to them at school. Mom to the rescue! I quickly realized that if I continued to solve their problems; they would never learn simple life lessons and figure stuff out for themselves! One of the hardest thing for a mother is to witness her child fail. No paper, no grade. However, I know now that one failing grade is not the end of the world, but a great teacher of responsibility. I feel confident that if my daughter forgot her lunch, she won’t die of starvation. A principal once told me that if I kept bringing her lunch, she’d keep forgetting it. She was right! However, I still yell “don’t forget your lunch” from the top of the stairs. I’m a work in progress.

I am comfortable playing the role of supportive mom. I’ve laid the groundwork and instilled values in them with parameters from which to work. I don't feel like I neglect them; because I don’t. If my daughter chooses to do her Science Fair project 3 nights before it’s due, it’s her responsibility, not mine. I’ve learned to let go and not take ownership of their projects. They enjoy having power over their tasks, especially when they get an ‘A’. They will have successful days and some disappointing ones. That’s life. It’s better to learn those lessons now. I know they’ll thank me later. As for me, I've parked my helicopter, for now, as I embrace my journey.

Be thankful

2010-02-28T16:31:00.000-05:00

There are so many tragedies that abound. Take some time out your day to reflect and meditate. It is very easy to become consumed in your day to day life. It is very easy to become consumed by your possessions. The life of a mom is extraordinarily busy. A mother’s schedule is hectic, chores to accomplish, activities to attend, deadlines to meet, friends to entertain and many family commitments. Take a time-out and express gratitude.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart

Create a journal of daily gratitude. Take time to write down who and what you’re grateful for. Practice saying ‘thank you’ to friends, family and strangers (who may do random acts of kindness like holding the door open as you approach). Be thankful for tough times and difficult situations. Times like these foster growth and strength. Having a tough time at work? Be thankful for work. In general, being thankful makes you a happier person. It enables you to focus on what is really important in your life like health, family, love, etc. In order to live a life of balance you must embody a life of gratitude. Gratitude brings grace and clarity into your life. As you document your blessings you become more aware of your abundance. Everything you have seems sufficient. Your life becomes fulfilling. You will no longer have the need to define yourself by what you do or the things you own.

As you take time today to reflect on your many blessings, call a friend and thank them for being in your life. I am grateful that you took the time to read this blog. I especially thank you for your support and encouragement.

Working outside the home vs staying at home

2010-02-24T02:09:00.000-05:00

There is no perfect scenario for motherhood. Yet many mothers battle inwardly with working outside the home versus staying at home. Both sides make sacrifices and both feel a sense of guilt. Ultimately, a woman should decide which would bring her greater fulfillment.

Mothers who work outside the home are capable of raising emotionally secured children. Once a child is in a quality day care environment, they will do well, intellectually, cognitively, socially and emotionally. A mother who works outside the home has to ensure that she balances her life. When you are with your children you should give them your full attention. Turn off the blackberry and be present with your child. Some moms may need to bring work home and it may infringe upon family time. Create a schedule to include work, children and self.

Mothers who work at home (stay-at-home moms) have challenges as well. Housework, volunteering at your child’s school, attending their various activities, witnessing every milestone, etc. can be rewarding but overwhelming. Being at your child’s various activities is an indirect action. Though this is great; it does not constitute time with your children. One on one time with your children is important. Being an at-home-mom does not exempt you from a schedule. Create a schedule and ensure that time for children and self are prioritized.

The decision to work or stay at home is not an easy one. Affordability and personal goals play a very significant role in your decision. Tap into your authentic self when making the decision. Do not make your decision in haste. Working part-time is a good way to ease into your decision. Do not be afraid to adjust your decision if it is unfulfilling. Being a mother is a gift and very rewarding. Try not to judge each other and support and respect the decision made by other moms. You both want healthy, stable kids. Whatever decision you make, pursue a balanced lifestyle (self, family, friends and work) and embrace the journey.

Follow your dreams and abandon fear

2010-02-13T02:53:00.001-05:00

This year is your year! Follow your dreams and abandon all fear. Too many times mothers deny themselves joy. The sole purpose of a mother is not to make others happy while denying yourself happiness. Making excuses for postponing your lifelong dream should not be commonplace. Following your dream does not mean family abandonment, only family adjustment.Take small steps towards realizing your dream. Be prayerful, be thoughtful, be faithful.

Start with a Vision Board. Gather old magazines and cut out the things you desire. No matter how large or small cut out pictures and stick them onto a poster board. Pictures must represent what you would like to become or things you would like to accomplish. Place the board where you can view it daily. Feel free to create more than one. You even have the option of creating an electronic vision board also.

Next, write your vision. Take a piece of paper and write what you would like to accomplish. Make sure you place all your dreams and desires of your heart. This is not a time to be shy. Be bold. Place the paper in a safe place and leave it there.

Now the process begins. Do the research and lay out all the facts. Surround yourself with friends who support your vision and will give you encouragement. Once you've done the background work, discuss with your spouse and ask for his support. Some minor adjustments may have to be made, but it's your dream and you will be convincing if you're passionate about it. Keep the lines of communication open and be open to compromise.

Sometimes it's necessary to delay, but don't abandon your dream. Living a balanced lifestyle includes doing the things in life that make you happy. Dare to dream and dream big. Embrace the journey!

February is the month of love...

2010-02-01T18:22:00.001-05:00

February is the month of love. It’s also Heart Health month. This Valentine’s day show your love for your family by committing to a heart healthy lifestyle.

Change is difficult and should be done incrementally. In order to sustain change, take small steps. To incorporate exercise into your daily routine, walk. Park your car at the furthest end of a parking lot and walk to the store. During your lunch break, take a walk after eating. Use stairs instead of the elevator. When your children arrive home from school, have them spend 15 minutes outside daily. Encourage your children to participate in sporting activities at school or neighborhood clubs. If you can afford it, purchase a gym membership and use it with your entire family.

Gradually add whole foods to your diet. Whole wheat pasta and breads are a simple and cost effective start. Whole grains like Oatmeal is a fantastic choice for breakfast. Be careful when purchasing. Try to avoid instant brands that are filled with sugar and sodium. Remove skin off poultry and buy lean meats. Include fish at least twice per week. Purchase fresh fruits and vegetables. Your local farmers’ market is an inexpensive choice. If fresh is not possible, buy frozen.

Remember to take small steps and gradually add some of these ideas into your daily life. This Valentine’s day, take your family on the journey to live a heart healthy lifestyle. This will be the best gift you can give to them. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Resources:
American Heart Association

Farmers' Market

Stress free dinner zone

2010-01-27T14:33:00.000-05:00

Every mother has those days when dinner is a nail biter. What to prepare? Trying to prepare a stress free dinner zone is attainable. There’s nothing more frustrating than getting hungry kids from school and not knowing what you’re preparing for dinner. It’s very possible to have delicious, healthy meals prepared in minutes if you’re organized.

Getting organized and prepping dinner for the week is a sure way to avoid dinner woes. Plan meals one week ahead and after purveying your pantry, purchase items needed for dinner during the week. This is also a great way to include your family in the planning process. Let your kids choose a meal they would love to have during the week. Pre planning eliminates the stress of the week and makes a smooth dinner experience.

For the mum who might be challenged in preparing a weekly menu, Rachael Ray has a great guide. She has a weekly menu and a shopping list that makes life a little easier for busy mums. Food Network Quick-Fix Meals has a weekly menu and shopping list also. You don’t need to follow these menus completely; use them as a base and/or guide and develop a menu your family would enjoy.

Feel free to include take out and prepared foods in your weekly menu. The idea is to know what will be served when. Be careful, though; check sodium levels on pre packaged meals. Also, if take out is a must, try to minimize to 1 or 2 days per week. You and your family would enjoy a more relaxed dinner when you’re organized. Bon appetit!

Tips for a stress free road trip

2010-01-18T23:14:00.001-05:00

No matter the age group enjoying a road trip with your children is very possible. Traveling long distances takes a toll on younger children and can be aggravating for older ones. Also, traveling with children of varied ages can, at times, be very challenging. To avoid a stressful trip try engaging teens and be equipped to entertain younger ones.

Tips for a stress free road trip:

Start your trip with a prayer

Pack snacks for each child. Fruits, vegetables, cereal, crackers. I recommend healthy snacks that are not loaded with sugar. Sugar can make children hyperactive and irritable

Pack a few small toys and travel friendly games and books for younger children

Travel with movies/games for viewing on a portable DVD and/or laptop (don’t forget headphones)

Plan and map out trip and find parks and other places of interest along your route so you can stop periodically for rest breaks.

Get creative with games that allow you to engage with your children. Sing along and call and response games can be fun for the entire family

Play music your older children enjoy. Take turns listening to music from both generations. This is a great opportunity to introduce them to your world and you to theirs. Talk about their interests.

Include your older children in the trip planning exercise and ask them what they may like to do and stops they may enjoy.

These are a few travel tips for you to consider. Travel safely and enjoy the journey!

Too much pressure

2010-01-15T22:59:00.003-05:00

Every mum is not able to organize her day and activities as she would like to. There’s laundry to be done, kids to take to activities, dinner to prepare, floors to be mopped, toys to arrange, work outside the home and hubby to entertain. Stop! You don’t need to do it all in one day. Mothers put way too much pressure on themselves to get it all done. Foregoing a couple chores will not undermine your role as a mother. Everything will get done…it always does! Try getting it done with your sanity intact. Pace yourself and if possible, solicit help. For those who can afford it, hire a house-keeper or cleaning service; for others, tap your family resource!

This may be challenging for some, however try getting your husband involved. He may not do it the way you may want it done…but at least it’s done! You need the help and need to ask for it. Get your kiddies involved and let them know you need them. Assign tasks and have them report to you upon completion. Giving an incentive may get the job done quickly.

Including the entire family in some of your tasks can be fun. Who knows, it might become a weekly routine. Allow your family to help you, and reap the rewards. Your husband will feel needed, your kids will feel confident (mum entrusted me with a task) and you will have time to complete the book you started 5 months ago! Keep in mind that there’s no award for ‘Super-mum’ but there’s definitely a reward for a balanced one.

Date night on a budget

2010-01-14T23:02:00.002-05:00

Tough economic times does not mean sacrificing alone time with your mate. It is very possible to have a date night on a budget. Spending time alone with your loved one is a smart way to bond. The financial storm that some couples are experiencing can take a toll on relationships. Checking in with your husband and making him feel special, if only for a few hours can help you both rekindle the flame that might have been extinguished between kids, friends, work, chores and more work.

If you’re uncomfortable planning alone time (because it’s not something that you do) consider it a practice run for ‘V’ Day. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and go for it! Feed the kids a quick dinner, drop them off at a family member or friend, and try one of the following tips.

Prepare a romantic setting with candles and eat dinner together. After dinner go for a walk while holding hands.

Skip dinner, light some candles and have a bottle of wine and a fruit and cheese platter waiting in the bathroom and prepare a bubble bath or a shower for two.

Pop some popcorn, rent a movie (any movie) and enjoy some time without kid interruption.

Have a couple board games set up and after dinner…..let the games begin!

These are just a few suggestions. Get creative and have a little fun. Connect with your husband, be vulnerable with him and share your feelings. Let him know how much you love and appreciate him and his dedication to your family. This is not the time to highlight flaws nor discuss finances. Take this time to reflect on how much you mean to each other. Make the most of your time together…remember, the kids are out the house.

When Disaster Strikes

2010-01-13T23:07:00.021-05:00

The earthquake that struck Haiti this week was a very catastrophic occurrence. When disaster strikes it can be traumatic for both parents and children. Children are very aware and look to their parents for guidance and reassurance. Younger children may feel anxious and unsafe. Parents play a major role in helping their children cope with these tragedies and can mitigate the emotional impact they may be experiencing.

Children know when parents feel anxious. Explain how you feel and reassure your children that they are safe and that many governments and organizations like UNICEF and the United Nations work hard to ensure that children are safe. Technology brings disasters quicker to us and our children tend to be aware of news events. Don’t ignore the occurrence, instead, ask your children how they feel and discuss the event. Try to minimize excessive media coverage. Having the episode replay constantly is not healthy for anyone’s mental psyche and can bring on unwanted anxiety.

It can also be helpful to teach your little ones that they can help the children and parents in the disaster by praying for them. In the case of Haiti, you can involve your kids by having them pack clothes to deliver to a collection site. Look up organizations that are taking donations and have younger and older kids be involved in the process. This way they don’t feel helpless and are making a difference in the lives of those affected. Not only will your children feel better, but they would learn the importance of giving which is a very vital lesson. Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Make a donation to help relief efforts in Haiti

Donate $5 by texting YELE to 501501 or at www.yele.org

Text the word

HAITI

to the number 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross or www.redcross.com

United Way

Bridging the gap

2010-01-13T01:32:00.015-05:00

Siblings on the Playground

Bridging the gap between a teenager and his younger sibling can be a daunting task. Little tikes can be annoying to their older siblings. Most of which is attention seeking.

The battle between siblings is usually stressful on parents who have a desire for peace in their home. Instead, they hear shouts, screams and pandemonium throughout the house. At the end of it all, it’s usually the older sibling who bears the brunt of the blame, which can drive a wedge between parent and child.

Spending time with both siblings can help your children relate to each other. During your time together, be respectful and encouraging to the older sibling. Recognize an accomplishment for a task he completed (homework, etc). Don’t chastise or belittle him/her in front of his little bother or sister. Use this time together as a teaching tool as you enjoy your children. Once you empower the older sibling and gently explain your expectations of him as an older sibling change will occur. It’s also a great idea to spend time with each child individually. Children love positive attention from their parents and need your time. Be sure to schedule alone time with each child (a few minutes a day, if possible).

Teach your younger child to respect his older sibling’s belongings by example. For instance, don’t just grab the remote from a family member…ask. Don’t barge into your child’s room to get a pen or piece of paper…ask. Once respect is visible in the home, your little one will follow. Schedule and/or encourage together time for the siblings. Activities can be at home (board games, video games, imaginative play, backyard fun, etc) or in your neighborhood. Find activities in your neighborhood where both age groups can enjoy together. Some fun activities like playing in the park, hanging out at the pool, ice skating, bike riding, miniature golf, to name a few, can help your children relate to each other.

Siblings will disagree from time to time and it’s our job to help them respect each other and be agreeable most of the time. Enjoy your journey with them because they’ll be all grown up in the blink of an eye!

...did someone say Party?

2010-01-12T02:32:00.002-05:00

t’s a joy to be able to throw a fabulous party for our children. It’s quite natural that we desire the best for them. What we don’t need to do is place pressure on ourselves to throw parties that we can ill-afford.

I enjoyed throwing theme parties for my children over the years. We’ve had Mother Goose, Treasure hunt, Safari, Dress up Tea Party, Luau Pool Party, Lounging with friends, Teddy Bear picnic and many more… We become so caught up in the party planning, that we can lose sight of why we’re throwing the party in the first place. We have parties to celebrate milestones in our children’s lives and create memories... We bring family and friends together to help us celebrate and we do special things to make our children feel special because we love them. In the end, no matter how much we spend or how many guests we invite our children should be happy.

Happiness should not depend on the size check we write for the party. We must teach our children gratitude and understanding. Another good lesson to teach is that the purpose of throwing a party is to bring friends together, not to receive presents. I’ve attend parties where in lieu of presents, we were asked to donate toys and books to charity. That is such a beautiful lesson for children. They learn at an early age the importance of giving to those less fortunate.

We need to show them that having friends and family come to celebrate their birthday shows how much they are loved and appreciated. As parents, we may get a little carried away. We may become competitive and throw elaborate parties to reflect ourselves and not our children. Our emphasis should be placed on the fun our child will have and not on outspending a friend who threw a very elaborate party.

A few months ago I planned a simple party for my 5year old and he had the time of his life! I removed my ego from planning the event and spent under $400.00. The theme was “Happy Birthday-Back to Basics”. Balloons, hotdogs, popcorn, piñata, pin the tail on the donkey, etc. I decided to give him all the things and dishes he enjoy, even the candy! Simon and his guests tie dyed shirts for the craft. He even performed Michael Jackson’s ‘Smooth Criminal’ for his guests. A good time was had by all and more importantly, my son, Simon. Love and happiness is not determined by price but effort!

Teens and Chores

2010-01-11T22:59:00.000-05:00

hy are my teenagers not doing chores without being told? Perhaps because they’re tired or they don’t think they should have to! Many factors lead to their feelings of entitlement (housekeepers, landscapers, nannies). Our teens may think that because their parents have help that they don’t need to contribute. Teenagers (at least mine) will not take responsibility sharing chores at home unless they’re told. If your teens are similar to mine, try creating a schedule with them and see how it works!

Most teenagers have packed daily schedules (school, homework, sports, music, etc). So when making the schedule, include them and be realistic about the results. Chores are not meant to be a punishment, it’s meant to foster responsibility (just like homework). You may need to remind them daily, however, most importantly, the chores get done! Also, remember, praise goes a long way. Recognizing their accomplishments openly to them and expressing our pride helps to boost their confidence and will encourage them to fulfill their obligations. Be encouraging and be flexible. They may not complete the chore as perfectly as mum; but at least they’re completing it. Give them parameters, and allow them to do it their way. Try to avoid imposing yourself and trust that they’re doing their best. We want to raise responsible, confident and emotionally healthy young people.

Just for me...

2010-01-10T16:01:00.001-05:00

Some mums escape to the spa, others….the bathroom down the hall (trying to hide from the kids). I would love the luxury of going to the spa weekly; unfortunately, neither money nor time allows it. Instead I opt for taking snippets of time throughout my day to relax. Whether it’s running or reading, yoga with my sis or closing my eyes at my desk for a few minutes; I take the time. On Mondays, I escape to my women’s prayer circle and become recharged. Since I’m a late sleeper, at night (when everyone’s asleep), I become renewed by being present with myself.

Mums love saying that they don’t have the time. If you cannot carve out time during the day, try awaking 30 minutes before the kids and spend some time with you! Use this time for you only! I think I’m a better mum when I’ve allowed myself to relax, recharge, and renew. I haven’t perfected the process since my ‘teenagers’ think I’m crazy at times. I like to think of myself as a work in progress. However, if we don’t allow ourselves time, how can we conquer the mountainous task of motherhood?

Find a hobby. Some mums take fun classes (stained glass, pottery, scrapbook, etc), join book clubs and sport teams for release. Taking time through exercise is an inexpensive way to manage stress and reduce your risk for heart disease and stroke, so it’s important to incorporate it in your daily routine. Don’t feel guilty taking the time; instead, view it as giving your children the gift of your healthy and sane self.

Resources:

YMCA

Women’s Health Magazine

Time for my Girls!!!

2010-01-09T20:09:00.001-05:00

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you’ll have to ask daddy; I’m on my way out!” There’s nothing quite like a car filled with estrogen!!! The conversation is about spouses (look out if one got one of us angry), kids’ grades and activities, bosses breathing done one’s neck, friends who need to get it together, and so on. Nothing a cocktail can’t solve, right… wrong…..it’s not about the cocktail, it’s about bonding with like minds, girls like you whose experiences are parallel to yours. Ladies don’t need cocktails to bond. We’ve bonded in the hair salon, the spa, at the playground and even the supermarket with women we don’t even know. No matter whom you are or which continent you’re from, mums all have similar experiences regarding kids, spouses, jobs, etc. Well, except maybe Denmark, which, as reported in Forbes.com, is the happiest place on earth. However, I’m certain mums in

Denmark

spend time bonding also. Making time for friends is beautiful and rewarding and can be a de-stressor.

Make time to spend with your girlfriends. It doesn’t have to be a nightclub (which is great if all you want to do is go dancing). I think bonding is more effective in a setting where you can listen to each other. You and your friends can alternate hosting each other or take the opportunity to get dressed up and be in a different environment. Remember, it’s not the location as much as it’s taking the opportunity to listen, share, bond and enjoy each other’s company. No more excuses. This is just as necessary as that basket of laundry at home and that proposal deadline at work. Don’t make it complicated, schedule it and have fun!

Ideas for hosting your girls:

Game night, Brunch, Afternoon Tea, Spa (doing each other’s nails), Happy Hour, Meditation or Prayer Circle, Book Club, Workout Session (book a private trainer & split the cost).
Get creative and have fun with it!

Unplug...

2010-01-08T12:51:00.000-05:00

I look around the room and 1 teenager is on YouTube…the other… on Facebook. No one’s talking but both are connected. It’s a challenge to get kids to unplug! So instead of yelling like the ‘crazy’ mum they sometimes think I am, I carefully switch my MO (modus operandi) and tried the following tips:

• If you can’t beat them join them. I check out the sites with them and allow them to be my guide.

• Family dinner a couple nights a week at the table. This way you can have a conversation without distraction and catch up on what’s going on with school and friends.

• Spend a few minutes in her room talking about her interests. Music, modeling, boys, etc…..and try to ignore the pile of clothes in the corner of her room!

• Take him to the mall and let him show you ‘what’s hot’ in his world. You might even become the envy of other mums since you’re now aware of the cool new trends in ‘teenville’.

• This past weekend my husband took our reluctant teens to the Museum and made them unplug by leaving their phones in the car. They both found exhibits they enjoyed and engaged him in their new found interest.

• If your teen is texting or talking or web surfing late at night when you think he should be asleep…help him unplug by checking his phone and other gadgets in at an agreed upon time.

Resources:
Tips for Raising teens

My teens…unplugged!!!

I see you........and I hear you too!!!

2010-01-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

ur children are an extension of us. Positive parents raise positive children…..the reverse is also correct! At times parenting can be very overwhelming. We may tell our kids we don’t have time to play with them or read to them. We may say ‘we don’t feel like it’. During play we may exhibit non sportsman like behavior. All these occur under watchful eyes……our kids. When we get bad service or get one too many sales calls during dinner…..our kids are observing how we react. They are learning, so we need to be aware of how we respond to them as well as everyday occurrences. For most people, having children changes them. Some of us become better people because of our kids. We become more aware of whom we are and who we want them to become.

I have observed my son being very encouraging during play. He says to his opponent (who is sometimes me) ‘nice try, you almost got it, good job!’ Hearing him say those things gladden my heart because it means that he is hearing those words beckoned in his environment. Sadly enough, though I also hear unappreciative comments also. Well, this mom isn’t perfect. She’s a work in progress and sees plenty of room for improvement. We have to first acknowledge our shortcomings and accept them. Once we get that out of the way, we can now move on to being our better selves.

We can’t always be with our children, but when we are make it meaningful and encouraging. We need to be aware of our attitudes and behavior towards others. Observe boundaries. Children are very observant and some behaviors are learned. We are our children’s first teachers. We get upset when our kids display certain actions. Take an honest self examination and see if the behavior displayed might come from you. We need emotionally healthy children so we must praise and encourage them. Spend time doing the things they like doing, no matter how silly it may seem. My 5 year old enjoys performing and at times I am an unwilling participant. I think he senses it also. However, I check myself quickly and give him a time limit to perform as I encourage and praise is efforts. He always leaves with a big smile and his chest out. I guess for him it’s not easy being the youngest but it sure feels great when he’s acknowledged and praised.

Mum~in~Motion

Love is...

Heart Disease: No. 1 Women's Health Threat

Don't smoke, and if you do, quit. Women who smoke are two to six times more likely to suffer a heart attack than non-smoking women. Smoking also boosts the risk of stroke and cancer.

Reducing Cervical Cancer Inequities

New Year's Resolution

Connect for the Holidays!

Monday 'Mum~ism'

Soul Rejuvenation

Monday 'Mum~ism'

Planning tips for college bound seniors

Troy Davis...a lesson on Empowerment & Hope

Remembering 9/11/01: Ten Years Later

S is for schedule and sanity!

'A Stone of Hope'

Back 2 School tips!!!

Monday 'Mum~ism'

Veritas Vineyard a perfect getaway

Re-connect ~ Re-kindle ~ Restore

Tips to keep your family safe in the heat

Monday 'Mum~ism'

Happiness comes from within...not from him!

D.A.D.

A Thankful Journal

Summer guide for the family

Slow down... it's Summer!

A Morning of Wellness

Health care....a kitchen table discussion

Celebrate the Victories!

A Morning of Wellness

National Women's Health Week: May 8-14, 2011

Mum needs a time-out!

Cinco de Mayo

Smart vs Hardworking kids

Spring into health.....let's get glamorous

Easter.....a time for family

Detox...my unique experience

Spring into health.....let's get 'bikini' ready

Behind the mask....

Spring into Health....let's get renewed

Spring into Health....let's get moving

Happy Anniversary!

Flight anxiety....

Guilty of Over-scheduling

"Do Right"

My name is mom. Who are you?

It's your body...love it

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Meal planning tips for busy moms

Don't get stuck....Don't give in!

Reflections of 2010

Letting go.....not easy....but necessary!

Being present in time

Single moms.....a new type of superhero!

Senioritis...the disease that struck my daughter

Mother's Day....a time to show appreciation

SELF discipline

The naked truth

Not....happily ever after

The gift of self

Spring time....a rejuvenating experience

A timeout for mom

Bedtime woes!

The Helicopter Mom

Be thankful

Working outside the home vs staying at home

Follow your dreams and abandon fear

February is the month of love...

Stress free dinner zone

Tips for a stress free road trip

Too much pressure

Date night on a budget

When Disaster Strikes

Bridging the gap

...did someone say Party?

Teens and Chores

Just for me...

Time for my Girls!!!

Unplug...

I see you........and I hear you too!!!